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I hate academic mysteries. As soon as I come across the word 'don' and it's not someone's first name, I close the book.
Fran Lebowitz
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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 73
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
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Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
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More quotes by Fran Lebowitz
The thing you love right away, don't do it, because that's the very thing that's going to be your addiction for the rest of your life.
Fran Lebowitz
A salad is not a meal, it is a style.
Fran Lebowitz
A community is a butcher and a doctor, a minister, a town troublemaker. A community is not a bunch of people united by some grievance. That's just self-righteousness - incredibly dangerous and antidemocratic.
Fran Lebowitz
Knowingness is sexy. The opposite of sexy is naivete.
Fran Lebowitz
I love being in love. I don't think anything compares with it, though I consider it very disruptive.
Fran Lebowitz
I'm like the laziest person who ever lived. It's amazing to me I even sit up.
Fran Lebowitz
Now people need special costumes to ride bicycles. I mean, a helmet, what, are you an astronaut??
Fran Lebowitz
I'm a horrible girlfriend. I always was. I'm great at the beginning, because I can be very romantic.
Fran Lebowitz
There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn.
Fran Lebowitz
I just write when fear overtakes me.
Fran Lebowitz
I hate, simply, to work. I just hate to work, period. I am profoundly slothful. Practically inert.
Fran Lebowitz
If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.
Fran Lebowitz
As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
Fran Lebowitz
I'm not a Communist. I'm an American. I'm a capitalist. I mean, I'm not a very good capitalist, myself. I'm not very good at it, but it's not that I'm not for capitalism. But people who believe in things like corporate citizenship, it's idiotic. I mean, it shows you're an idiot.
Fran Lebowitz
Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
Fran Lebowitz
While clothes with pictures and/or writing on them are not entirely an invention of the modern age, they are an unpleasant indication of the general state of things. ... I mean, be realistic. If people don't want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater?
Fran Lebowitz
I had to go on TV with the president of the Catholic League, which is not an official organization at all, just a lot of Catholics, or maybe it's just this guy. He demanded to de-fund art completely and argued that taxpayers should not pay for it. I said people who represent the Catholic Church shouldn't talk about taxes.
Fran Lebowitz
Cheese that is required by law to append the word food to its title does not go well with red wine or fruit.
Fran Lebowitz
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
Fran Lebowitz
Television turned out to be exactly as bad as the most irritating and pedantic intellectuals of the '50s said it was going to be.
Fran Lebowitz