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When I saw a phone on a plane for the first time, I panicked ... I thought people were going to call me.
Fran Lebowitz
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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Call
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Firsts
Panicked
First
Plane
Going
Planes
Time
Phone
People
Phones
Saws
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Los Angeles is a large city-like area surrounding the Beverly Hills Hotel.
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When I'm supposed to be writing I clean my apartment, take my clothes to the laundry, get organized, make lists, do the dishes. I would never do a dish unless I had to write.
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If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded as American culture, you would pretty much be left with Let's Make a Deal.
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Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
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Perhaps the least cheering statement ever made on the subject of art is that life imitates it.
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I always make a big effort to make a distinction between what is actually worse or what is just worse about not being 21. Of course, it's much worse not to be 21. This is a given. But there are things that are worse.
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I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.
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New York was always more expensive than the other places, even when it was going bankrupt. In other words, in 1971, New York was expensive for someone with no money. For anyone.
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I do not think everyone is created equal. In fact, I know they're not. [The Constitution] means that everyone should have the same laws as everyone else. It doesn't mean that everyone's as smart or as cute or as lucky as everyone else.
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
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New Yorkers, we've seen Donald Trump for, like, 30 years we know who he is. So he wasn't a surprise to me.
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Spilling your guts is just exactly as charming as it sounds.
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Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.
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If people don't hold grudges, it means they just don't care what people do.
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A woman's quest in life should be to find the perfect apartment. And I have found the perfect apartment. The perfect apartment is the first floor of the Metropolitan Museum. With a sofa.
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It would also have been helpful to have gone to a Catholic grammar school. The only people who know grammar are those people who went to Catholic grammar school. Those nuns beat it into them.
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Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.
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There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn.
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When someone asks, 'Why do you think he's not calling me?' there's always one answer - 'He's not interested.' There's not ever any other answer.
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In New York we have zillions of different kinds of people, many of them hate each other, but violence based on that hatred is really uncommon here.
Fran Lebowitz
