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If you want to get ahead in this world get a lawyer -- not a book.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Lawyer
Ahead
Book
World

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
Fran Lebowitz
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Nothing lasts. So it's my belief, yes, I know a lot of the things that we liked didn't last, but maybe things we don't like, they're also not going to last. There has been progress in my lifetime. There are certainly things that are better than when I was young, and there are things that are worse. New York City, it's worse. There's no question.
Fran Lebowitz
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Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in mood, children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement-mixer long after one's own interest in the topic has waned.
Fran Lebowitz
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When someone asks, 'Why do you think he's not calling me?' there's always one answer - 'He's not interested.' There's not ever any other answer.
Fran Lebowitz
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Luckily when you drive a cab there are two things: You don't have a boss in the cab with you, and you are not facing the people that you are making money from.
Fran Lebowitz
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We live in a culture where everyone is perfectly willing to do this [to make a lot of money], and they're just looking for the opportunity. Obviously, a person who is really dumb is not gonna make a zillion dollars. But for a person who is really smart, really smart, it's a boring pursuit. It's not endlessly fascinating.
Fran Lebowitz
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one.
Fran Lebowitz
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Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word collectible as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success.
Fran Lebowitz
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No one's supposed to be the president. This is not England. And it's not just the Bush family, all families designate each child as having some particular trait.
Fran Lebowitz
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This idea that people have to love and understand each other is absurd. It's not human nature.
Fran Lebowitz
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I wish that real estate were cheaper and clothes were more expensive.
Fran Lebowitz
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When I saw a phone on a plane for the first time, I panicked ... I thought people were going to call me.
Fran Lebowitz
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I, unfortunately, take the subway a lot. It's not my preference, but it is my lot in life.
Fran Lebowitz
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Even when America is not working that well, it still works better than other places.
Fran Lebowitz
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The second I learned to read in first grade, when I was 5, I preferred it to life. And I still do.
Fran Lebowitz
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I hate, simply, to work. I just hate to work, period. I am profoundly slothful. Practically inert.
Fran Lebowitz
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You sit or stand in the subway, and you look around - I do, because I don't have a phone so I'm not playing a game - and you see people.
Fran Lebowitz
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If there were, say, only 10 percent of the hotels that exist now, there would be all these apartments for people who live in New York, as opposed to people visiting New York. And then all this junk in the theater, we would no longer need the kind of stuff that tourists like.
Fran Lebowitz
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Generally speaking, the poorer person summers where he winters.
Fran Lebowitz
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When I'm supposed to be writing I clean my apartment, take my clothes to the laundry, get organized, make lists, do the dishes. I would never do a dish unless I had to write.
Fran Lebowitz