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If you want to get ahead in this world get a lawyer -- not a book.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Lawyer
Ahead
Book
World

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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I wouldn't say that I dislike the young. I'm simply not a fan of naïveté.
Fran Lebowitz
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If people don't hold grudges, it means they just don't care what people do.
Fran Lebowitz
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My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
Fran Lebowitz
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New Yorkers, we've seen Donald Trump for, like, 30 years we know who he is. So he wasn't a surprise to me.
Fran Lebowitz
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It's very important when making a friend to check and see if they have a private plane. People think a good personality trait in a friend is kindness or a sense of humor. No, in a friend a good personality trait is a Gulfstream.
Fran Lebowitz
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Not writing is probably the most exhausting profession I've ever encountered.
Fran Lebowitz
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The Italians are the most civilized people. And they're very warm. Basically, they're Jews with great architecture.
Fran Lebowitz
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I write so slowly, I could write with my own blood and not hurt myself.
Fran Lebowitz
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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
Fran Lebowitz
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People who are well-known, famous people, I think, make very poor characters for fiction. They make good characters for gossip columns. But not for fiction.
Fran Lebowitz
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It would also have been helpful to have gone to a Catholic grammar school. The only people who know grammar are those people who went to Catholic grammar school. Those nuns beat it into them.
Fran Lebowitz
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There is nothing more mine than my writing, nothing I'm more proprietary about.
Fran Lebowitz
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Any artist who has that quality of timelessness has that quality because they tell the truth.
Fran Lebowitz
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Children are much less annoying [than adults] and they never start trends.
Fran Lebowitz
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Everything in Japan is hidden. Real life has an unlisted phone number.
Fran Lebowitz
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I hate, simply, to work. I just hate to work, period. I am profoundly slothful. Practically inert.
Fran Lebowitz
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The truth is that most families have no smart ones and no pretty ones. Most families are a bunch of unattractive dopes. And it turns out that the Bush family, like most families, has no smart ones. I was not surprised to see this.
Fran Lebowitz
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
Fran Lebowitz
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If there were, say, only 10 percent of the hotels that exist now, there would be all these apartments for people who live in New York, as opposed to people visiting New York. And then all this junk in the theater, we would no longer need the kind of stuff that tourists like.
Fran Lebowitz
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I do not think everyone is created equal. In fact, I know they're not. [The Constitution] means that everyone should have the same laws as everyone else. It doesn't mean that everyone's as smart or as cute or as lucky as everyone else.
Fran Lebowitz