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I'm like the laziest person who ever lived. It's amazing to me I even sit up.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Amazing
Lived
Persons
Person
Ever
Even
Like
Laziest
Laziness

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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I think one manifestation of integrity is holding a grudge. Saying no is a little different. Holding a grudge is the modern equivalent of having standards.
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I have a hard time writing. Most writers have a hard time writing. I have a harder time than most because I'm lazier than most. I don't want to brag, but I'm the laziest person I have ever known.
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Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
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The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
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I wouldn't say that I dislike the young. I'm simply not a fan of naïveté.
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You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
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In Rome people spend most of their time having lunch. And they do it very well - Rome is unquestionably the lunch capital of the world.
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Sleep is death without the responsibility.
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I've never seen the Kardashians I'm not sure who they are. But I know a lot about them because it's impossible not to.
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If you're going to America, bring your own food.
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
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This idea that people have to love and understand each other is absurd. It's not human nature.
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Japanese food is very pretty and undoubtedly a suitable cuisine in Japan, which is largely populated by people of below average size. Hostesses hell-bent on serving such food to occidentals would be well advised to supplement it with something more substantial and to keep in mind that almost everybody likes french fries.
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When I fly, I'm never afraid the plane is going to crash. But there have often been times when I was afraid it wouldn't crash. I was just afraid it was going to circle O'Hare for the rest of my life.
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Most writers write too much. I have the exact opposite problem. I feel I could write almost anything in a paragraph. I have a natural ability to condense, and so I often think, Are you kidding me? Five thousand words? How am I gonna make 5,000 words out of that?
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Marriage entitles women to the protection of a strong man who will steady the stepladder while they paint the kitchen ceiling.
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If there were, say, only 10 percent of the hotels that exist now, there would be all these apartments for people who live in New York, as opposed to people visiting New York. And then all this junk in the theater, we would no longer need the kind of stuff that tourists like.
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All style is personal - that's what distinguishes it from fashion.
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Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.
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