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I'm like the laziest person who ever lived. It's amazing to me I even sit up.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Amazing
Lived
Persons
Person
Ever
Even
Like
Laziest
Laziness

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
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Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in mood, children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement-mixer long after one's own interest in the topic has waned.
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I think writing for me has always been a matter of fear. Writing is fear and not writing is fear. I am afraid of writing and then I'm afraid of not writing.
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Luckily when you drive a cab there are two things: You don't have a boss in the cab with you, and you are not facing the people that you are making money from.
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There are too many books. The books are terrible. And this is because you have been taught to have self-esteem.
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The other day I read that last year 58 million tourists came to New York ... where a puny eight million people are trying to live. Unless they own a hotel chain, I don't think a single one of these eight million people are happy about this.
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This idea that people have to love and understand each other is absurd. It's not human nature.
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
Fran Lebowitz
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
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If you read a lot, nothing is as great as you've imagined. Venice is - Venice is better.
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I'd like to decide who comes here. I'd like to be the admissions director of New York.
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Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
Fran Lebowitz
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one.
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Writing is so hard. Why would you be a writer if you weren't really good at it? If you could be anything else, why would you be a writer?
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Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.
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A salad is not a meal, it is a style.
Fran Lebowitz
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It is, in fact, safe to assume that, more often than not, life imitates craft, for who among us can say that our experience does not more closely resemble a macramé plant holder than it does a painting by Seurat. When it comes to art, life is the biggest copycat in the matter of the frame.
Fran Lebowitz
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A great many people in Los Angeles are on special diets that restrict their intake of synthetic foods. The reason for this appears to be a widely held belief that organically grown fruits and vegetables make the cocaine work faster.
Fran Lebowitz
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Marriage entitles women to the protection of a strong man who will steady the stepladder while they paint the kitchen ceiling.
Fran Lebowitz
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I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.
Fran Lebowitz