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I'm like the laziest person who ever lived. It's amazing to me I even sit up.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Person
Ever
Even
Like
Laziest
Laziness
Amazing
Lived
Persons

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
Fran Lebowitz
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Because I was young, I had this long hair, and people used to try to tip me with joints.
Fran Lebowitz
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I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.
Fran Lebowitz
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When I'm supposed to be writing I clean my apartment, take my clothes to the laundry, get organized, make lists, do the dishes. I would never do a dish unless I had to write.
Fran Lebowitz
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Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.
Fran Lebowitz
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I think one manifestation of integrity is holding a grudge. Saying no is a little different. Holding a grudge is the modern equivalent of having standards.
Fran Lebowitz
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Generally speaking, the poorer person summers where he winters.
Fran Lebowitz
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No one earns $100 million. You steal $100 million.
Fran Lebowitz
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In New York we have zillions of different kinds of people, many of them hate each other, but violence based on that hatred is really uncommon here.
Fran Lebowitz
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It is not true that there is dignity in all work. Some jobs are definitely better than others.
Fran Lebowitz
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I'm very lazy, I hate to work.
Fran Lebowitz
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Without these tourists, New York would be fantastic. I don't want them to come. Stay home!
Fran Lebowitz
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It's much easier to write a solemn book than a funny book. It's harder to make people laugh than it is to make them cry. People are always on the verge of tears.
Fran Lebowitz
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Breakfast cereals that come in the same colors as polyester leisure suits make oversleeping a virtue.
Fran Lebowitz
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I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use.
Fran Lebowitz
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If you want to get ahead in this world get a lawyer -- not a book.
Fran Lebowitz
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Even when America is not working that well, it still works better than other places.
Fran Lebowitz
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...I believed passionately that Communists were a race of horned men who divided their time equally between the burning of Nancy Drew books and the devising of a plan of nuclear attack that would land the largest and most lethal bomb squarely upon the third-grade class of Thomas Jefferson School in Morristown, New Jersey.
Fran Lebowitz
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I prefer dead writers because you don't run into them at parties.
Fran Lebowitz
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The French probably invented the very notion of discretion. It's not that they feel that what you don't know won't hurt you they feel that what you don't know won't hurt them. To the French lying is simply talking.
Fran Lebowitz