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Everything in Japan is hidden. Real life has an unlisted phone number.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Phone
Hidden
Phones
Number
Numbers
Everything
Real
Life
Japan

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The great thing about New Jersey is that it's close to New York.
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I have friends, some of whom are spectacularly good writers, who really want someone to edit them. I don't register that impulse. It's like the impulse for wanting a dog.
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The Italians are the most civilized people. And they're very warm. Basically, they're Jews with great architecture.
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It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensive domestic cigars.
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I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
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There's nothing like being old to be sure of everything.
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Middle class was defined by having certain values and only a certain amount of money. But this new middle class seems to have absolutely no values and an unlimited amount of money.
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A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.
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I'm a horrible girlfriend. I always was. I'm great at the beginning, because I can be very romantic.
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Generally speaking, the poorer person summers where he winters.
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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Even when America is not working that well, it still works better than other places.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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Breakfast cereals that come in the same colors as polyester leisure suits make oversleeping a virtue.
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There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn.
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The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
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A salad is not a meal, it is a style.
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Abandon the search for Truth settle for a good fantasy
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New Yorkers, we've seen Donald Trump for, like, 30 years we know who he is. So he wasn't a surprise to me.
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
Fran Lebowitz