Quote

It's very important when making a friend to check and see if they have a private plane. People think a good personality trait in a friend is kindness or a sense of humor. No, in a friend a good personality trait is a Gulfstream.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Humor
Traits
People
Friends
Check
Making
Planes
Sense
Checks
Important
Private
Kindness
Good
Personality
Trait
Think
Friend
Plane
Thinking

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I wish that real estate were cheaper and clothes were more expensive.
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To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
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Until I was about 7, I thought books were just there, like trees. When I learned that people actually wrote them, I wanted to, too, because all children aspire to inhuman feats like flying. Most people grow up to realize they can't fly. Writers are people who don't grow up to realize they can't be God.
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Knowingness is sexy. The opposite of sexy is naivete.
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Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.
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I think writing for me has always been a matter of fear. Writing is fear and not writing is fear. I am afraid of writing and then I'm afraid of not writing.
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There are too many books. The books are terrible. And this is because you have been taught to have self-esteem.
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In Rome people spend most of their time having lunch. And they do it very well - Rome is unquestionably the lunch capital of the world.
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[On the writers she admires:] I prefer dead writers, because I don't see them at parties.
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People who get married because they're in love make a ridiculous mistake. It makes much more sense to marry your best friend. You like your best friend more than anyone you're ever going to be in love with. You dont choose your best friend because they have a cute nose.
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
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To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab.
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
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When someone asks, 'Why do you think he's not calling me?' there's always one answer - 'He's not interested.' There's not ever any other answer.
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No one I knew talked about money. It's not an area of interest.
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Forcing people into a situation where they're supposed to adore each other is probably bad. But letting people get on and off the 6 train without stabbing each other, that's good.
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The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
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Now people need special costumes to ride bicycles. I mean, a helmet, what, are you an astronaut??
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In New York we have zillions of different kinds of people, many of them hate each other, but violence based on that hatred is really uncommon here.
Fran Lebowitz