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While clothes with pictures and/or writing on them are not entirely an invention of the modern age, they are an unpleasant indication of the general state of things. ... I mean, be realistic. If people don't want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater?

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Makes
Pictures
States
General
Sweater
Mean
Clothes
Sweaters
Writing
Listen
Unpleasant
Things
Hear
Indication
Think
Modern
Realistic
Thinking
State
Entirely
People
Age
Invention

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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I wish that real estate were cheaper and clothes were more expensive.
Fran Lebowitz
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Until I was about 7, I thought books were just there, like trees. When I learned that people actually wrote them, I wanted to, too, because all children aspire to inhuman feats like flying. Most people grow up to realize they can't fly. Writers are people who don't grow up to realize they can't be God.
Fran Lebowitz
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Money...buys privacy, silence. The less money you have, the noisier it is the thinner your walls, the closer your neighbors.... The first thing you notice when you step into the house or apartment of a rich person is how quiet it is.
Fran Lebowitz
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
Fran Lebowitz
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You can be nasty when you are young, but you really have to be older to achieve bitterness.
Fran Lebowitz
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You sit or stand in the subway, and you look around - I do, because I don't have a phone so I'm not playing a game - and you see people.
Fran Lebowitz
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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
Fran Lebowitz
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I walk a lot in New York, not for the exercise but to get from place to place, and because it's the way of having the least contact with human beings.
Fran Lebowitz
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I prefer dead writers because you don't run into them at parties.
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Marriage entitles women to the protection of a strong man who will steady the stepladder while they paint the kitchen ceiling.
Fran Lebowitz
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China is not a great idea: capitalism and a dictator. It's like the two worst possible things you could imagine together. It's a very bad idea.
Fran Lebowitz
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Everything in Japan is hidden. Real life has an unlisted phone number.
Fran Lebowitz
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I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use.
Fran Lebowitz
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
Fran Lebowitz
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Cold soup is a very tricky thing and it is a rare hostess who can carry it off. More often than not the dinner guest is left with the impression that had he only come a little earlier he could have gotten it while it was still hot.
Fran Lebowitz
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The main symptom of falling in love is that you lose your intellectual prowess.
Fran Lebowitz
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It is, in fact, safe to assume that, more often than not, life imitates craft, for who among us can say that our experience does not more closely resemble a macramé plant holder than it does a painting by Seurat. When it comes to art, life is the biggest copycat in the matter of the frame.
Fran Lebowitz
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I have a hard time writing. Most writers have a hard time writing. I have a harder time than most because I'm lazier than most. I don't want to brag, but I'm the laziest person I have ever known.
Fran Lebowitz
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I hate academic mysteries. As soon as I come across the word 'don' and it's not someone's first name, I close the book.
Fran Lebowitz
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Telling someone he looks healthy isn't a compliment -- it's a second opinion.
Fran Lebowitz