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There's nothing like being old to be sure of everything.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Sure
Everything
Nothing
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More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded as American culture, you would pretty much be left with Let's Make a Deal.
Fran Lebowitz
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London: A place you go to get bronchitis.
Fran Lebowitz
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I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
Fran Lebowitz
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When we were young, we knew things. We knew basic history, even as it related to fashion. Now, when something reappears, an 18 year old has no clue that it's a revival. Despite the fact that they're almost always online they don't get references. I think that's part of why visual things are becoming so derivative.
Fran Lebowitz
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Money...buys privacy, silence. The less money you have, the noisier it is the thinner your walls, the closer your neighbors.... The first thing you notice when you step into the house or apartment of a rich person is how quiet it is.
Fran Lebowitz
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I always make a big effort to make a distinction between what is actually worse or what is just worse about not being 21. Of course, it's much worse not to be 21. This is a given. But there are things that are worse.
Fran Lebowitz
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New York was always more expensive than any other place in the United States, but you could live in New York - and by New York, I mean Manhattan. Brooklyn was the borough of grandparents. We didn't live well. We lived in these horrible places. But you could live in New York. And you didn't have to think about money every second.
Fran Lebowitz
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Think before you speak. Read before you think.
Fran Lebowitz
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Life was certainly more entertaining when people were indulging their vices as opposed to going to meetings to indulge in a new vice: discussing their innermost thoughts in public.
Fran Lebowitz
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I wouldn't say that I dislike the young. I'm simply not a fan of naïveté.
Fran Lebowitz
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I had to go on TV with the president of the Catholic League, which is not an official organization at all, just a lot of Catholics, or maybe it's just this guy. He demanded to de-fund art completely and argued that taxpayers should not pay for it. I said people who represent the Catholic Church shouldn't talk about taxes.
Fran Lebowitz
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What people don't know is: Clothes don't really fit you unless they're made for you. Especially when you wear men's clothes, like I do. American women think that clothes fit them if they can fit into them. But that's not at all what fit means.
Fran Lebowitz
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I wish that real estate were cheaper and clothes were more expensive.
Fran Lebowitz
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It would also have been helpful to have gone to a Catholic grammar school. The only people who know grammar are those people who went to Catholic grammar school. Those nuns beat it into them.
Fran Lebowitz
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Until I was about 7, I thought books were just there, like trees. When I learned that people actually wrote them, I wanted to, too, because all children aspire to inhuman feats like flying. Most people grow up to realize they can't fly. Writers are people who don't grow up to realize they can't be God.
Fran Lebowitz
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Los Angeles is a large city-like area surrounding the Beverly Hills Hotel.
Fran Lebowitz
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The great thing about New Jersey is that it's close to New York.
Fran Lebowitz
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
Fran Lebowitz
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
Fran Lebowitz
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Abandon the search for Truth settle for a good fantasy
Fran Lebowitz