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There's nothing like being old to be sure of everything.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Sure
Everything
Nothing
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More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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I walk a lot in New York, not for the exercise but to get from place to place, and because it's the way of having the least contact with human beings.
Fran Lebowitz
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You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
Fran Lebowitz
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I write a sentence a thousand times, changing it all the time to look at it in different ways.
Fran Lebowitz
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I'm very lazy, I hate to work.
Fran Lebowitz
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To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab.
Fran Lebowitz
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We live in a culture where everyone is perfectly willing to do this [to make a lot of money], and they're just looking for the opportunity. Obviously, a person who is really dumb is not gonna make a zillion dollars. But for a person who is really smart, really smart, it's a boring pursuit. It's not endlessly fascinating.
Fran Lebowitz
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I hate all jobs. I've never had a job I liked.
Fran Lebowitz
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I think one manifestation of integrity is holding a grudge. Saying no is a little different. Holding a grudge is the modern equivalent of having standards.
Fran Lebowitz
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People who get married because they're in love make a ridiculous mistake. It makes much more sense to marry your best friend. You like your best friend more than anyone you're ever going to be in love with. You dont choose your best friend because they have a cute nose.
Fran Lebowitz
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I hate writing. I will do anything to avoid it. The only way I could write less was if I was dead.
Fran Lebowitz
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If there were, say, only 10 percent of the hotels that exist now, there would be all these apartments for people who live in New York, as opposed to people visiting New York. And then all this junk in the theater, we would no longer need the kind of stuff that tourists like.
Fran Lebowitz
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When I fly, I'm never afraid the plane is going to crash. But there have often been times when I was afraid it wouldn't crash. I was just afraid it was going to circle O'Hare for the rest of my life.
Fran Lebowitz
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
Fran Lebowitz
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Writing is so hard. Why would you be a writer if you weren't really good at it? If you could be anything else, why would you be a writer?
Fran Lebowitz
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A great many people in Los Angeles are on special diets that restrict their intake of synthetic foods. The reason for this appears to be a widely held belief that organically grown fruits and vegetables make the cocaine work faster.
Fran Lebowitz
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I just write when fear overtakes me.
Fran Lebowitz
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There are too many books. The books are terrible. And this is because you have been taught to have self-esteem.
Fran Lebowitz
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It's much easier to write a solemn book than a funny book. It's harder to make people laugh than it is to make them cry. People are always on the verge of tears.
Fran Lebowitz
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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
Fran Lebowitz
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People always say pop culture. As if we have some high culture to distinguish it from.
Fran Lebowitz