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There's nothing like being old to be sure of everything.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Everything
Nothing
Like
Sure

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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I have the exact opposite problem of every writer I've ever met: Every writer I've ever met writes things that are too long, and they have to edit them down.
Fran Lebowitz
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Sleep is death without the responsibility.
Fran Lebowitz
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Food is definitely important part of your balanced diet.
Fran Lebowitz
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When I saw a phone on a plane for the first time, I panicked ... I thought people were going to call me.
Fran Lebowitz
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It is not true that there is dignity in all work. Some jobs are definitely better than others.
Fran Lebowitz
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A great many people in Los Angeles are on special diets that restrict their intake of synthetic foods. The reason for this appears to be a widely held belief that organically grown fruits and vegetables make the cocaine work faster.
Fran Lebowitz
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China is not a great idea: capitalism and a dictator. It's like the two worst possible things you could imagine together. It's a very bad idea.
Fran Lebowitz
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Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
Fran Lebowitz
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[On not reading newspapers:] If something important happens, your mother calls you.
Fran Lebowitz
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To me, O'Hara is the real Fitzgerald.
Fran Lebowitz
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New York was always more expensive than the other places, even when it was going bankrupt. In other words, in 1971, New York was expensive for someone with no money. For anyone.
Fran Lebowitz
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When I fly, I'm never afraid the plane is going to crash. But there have often been times when I was afraid it wouldn't crash. I was just afraid it was going to circle O'Hare for the rest of my life.
Fran Lebowitz
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Writing is so hard. Why would you be a writer if you weren't really good at it? If you could be anything else, why would you be a writer?
Fran Lebowitz
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Take away a man's actual sense of manhood - which is conventionally based on the ability to work, to earn money, to be self-sufficient, to provide for children - and you've got to give them something else. And they did.
Fran Lebowitz
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Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
Fran Lebowitz
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Polite conversation is rarely either.
Fran Lebowitz
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What people don't know is: Clothes don't really fit you unless they're made for you. Especially when you wear men's clothes, like I do. American women think that clothes fit them if they can fit into them. But that's not at all what fit means.
Fran Lebowitz
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If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
Fran Lebowitz
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I drank my lifetime supply of alcohol and I took my lifetime supply of drugs between the ages of 15 and 19.
Fran Lebowitz
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My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
Fran Lebowitz