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The second I learned to read in first grade, when I was 5, I preferred it to life. And I still do.
Fran Lebowitz
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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 73
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
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Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
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Life
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Reading
Read
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Still
Preferred
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Firsts
Grades
First
More quotes by Fran Lebowitz
Middle class was defined by having certain values and only a certain amount of money. But this new middle class seems to have absolutely no values and an unlimited amount of money.
Fran Lebowitz
No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
Fran Lebowitz
New York was always more expensive than the other places, even when it was going bankrupt. In other words, in 1971, New York was expensive for someone with no money. For anyone.
Fran Lebowitz
Inhabitants of underdeveloped nations and victims of natural disasters are the only people who have ever been happy to see soybeans.
Fran Lebowitz
I write so slowly, I could write with my own blood and not hurt myself.
Fran Lebowitz
I hate academic mysteries. As soon as I come across the word 'don' and it's not someone's first name, I close the book.
Fran Lebowitz
Television turned out to be exactly as bad as the most irritating and pedantic intellectuals of the '50s said it was going to be.
Fran Lebowitz
Forcing people into a situation where they're supposed to adore each other is probably bad. But letting people get on and off the 6 train without stabbing each other, that's good.
Fran Lebowitz
The truth is that most families have no smart ones and no pretty ones. Most families are a bunch of unattractive dopes. And it turns out that the Bush family, like most families, has no smart ones. I was not surprised to see this.
Fran Lebowitz
Generally speaking, the poorer person summers where he winters.
Fran Lebowitz
To me, O'Hara is the real Fitzgerald.
Fran Lebowitz
I never wanted to have any extra money, if it meant having to have any extra work.
Fran Lebowitz
What I can't be is monogamous. That tends to upset people. I just don't like domestic life.
Fran Lebowitz
I'm like the laziest person who ever lived. It's amazing to me I even sit up.
Fran Lebowitz
If there were, say, only 10 percent of the hotels that exist now, there would be all these apartments for people who live in New York, as opposed to people visiting New York. And then all this junk in the theater, we would no longer need the kind of stuff that tourists like.
Fran Lebowitz
As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
Fran Lebowitz
People who get married because they're in love make a ridiculous mistake. It makes much more sense to marry your best friend. You like your best friend more than anyone you're ever going to be in love with. You dont choose your best friend because they have a cute nose.
Fran Lebowitz
It's much easier to write a solemn book than a funny book. It's harder to make people laugh than it is to make them cry. People are always on the verge of tears.
Fran Lebowitz
Cheese that is required by law to append the word food to its title does not go well with red wine or fruit.
Fran Lebowitz
I've never seen the Kardashians I'm not sure who they are. But I know a lot about them because it's impossible not to.
Fran Lebowitz