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I hate writing. I will do anything to avoid it. The only way I could write less was if I was dead.
Fran Lebowitz
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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Avoid
Dead
Less
Hate
Write
Anything
Writing
Way
More quotes by Fran Lebowitz
A community is a butcher and a doctor, a minister, a town troublemaker. A community is not a bunch of people united by some grievance. That's just self-righteousness - incredibly dangerous and antidemocratic.
Fran Lebowitz
You can be nasty when you are young, but you really have to be older to achieve bitterness.
Fran Lebowitz
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
Fran Lebowitz
Tourism as a number-one industry is a terrible, terrible idea for any city, especially New York. If you were going to turn a city, which is a place where people live, into a tourist attraction, you're going to have to make it a place that people who don't live here, like. So I object to living in a place for people who don't live here.
Fran Lebowitz
I walk a lot in New York, not for the exercise but to get from place to place, and because it's the way of having the least contact with human beings.
Fran Lebowitz
People care more about trends now than they do about style. They get so wrapped up in what's happening that they forget how to dress, and they never learn who they are because they never learn how to take care of anything.
Fran Lebowitz
It is not true that there is dignity in all work. Some jobs are definitely better than others.
Fran Lebowitz
It would also have been helpful to have gone to a Catholic grammar school. The only people who know grammar are those people who went to Catholic grammar school. Those nuns beat it into them.
Fran Lebowitz
Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
Fran Lebowitz
Now people need special costumes to ride bicycles. I mean, a helmet, what, are you an astronaut??
Fran Lebowitz
Japanese food is very pretty and undoubtedly a suitable cuisine in Japan, which is largely populated by people of below average size. Hostesses hell-bent on serving such food to occidentals would be well advised to supplement it with something more substantial and to keep in mind that almost everybody likes french fries.
Fran Lebowitz
My dream writing room would be the Imperial Library in Vienna.
Fran Lebowitz
Whenever I am doing anything else, which is most of the time, even if it is not something like robbing a bank, I feel felonious. Writing is what I'm supposed to be doing.
Fran Lebowitz
Inhabitants of underdeveloped nations and victims of natural disasters are the only people who have ever been happy to see soybeans.
Fran Lebowitz
Communism requires of its adherents that they arise early and participate in a strenuous round of calisthenics. To someone who wishes that cigarettes came already lit the thought of such exertion at an hour when decent people are just nodding off is thoroughly abhorrent.
Fran Lebowitz
New Yorkers, we've seen Donald Trump for, like, 30 years we know who he is. So he wasn't a surprise to me.
Fran Lebowitz
I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use.
Fran Lebowitz
It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensive domestic cigars.
Fran Lebowitz
To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
Fran Lebowitz
There are some great writers who are great talkers, but there are more great writers who are not great talkers. People seem to think there is some connection between talking and writing, but I love to talk and if there were some connection between the two of them I would be the most prolific writer in the history of the world.
Fran Lebowitz
