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Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
History
House
Offended
Consequence
Leaving
Natural

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I never had a typewriter. I never had any machines.
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Middle class was defined by having certain values and only a certain amount of money. But this new middle class seems to have absolutely no values and an unlimited amount of money.
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I hate academic mysteries. As soon as I come across the word 'don' and it's not someone's first name, I close the book.
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All style is personal - that's what distinguishes it from fashion.
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I never wanted to have any extra money, if it meant having to have any extra work.
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Generally speaking, the poorer person summers where he winters.
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[On the writers she admires:] I prefer dead writers, because I don't see them at parties.
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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
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I never would start writing before midnight and I would finish at, like, seven in the morning.
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if you live in New York and you have a guest room, you have guests. So I think it's best not to have a guest room.
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The second I learned to read in first grade, when I was 5, I preferred it to life. And I still do.
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The thing you love right away, don't do it, because that's the very thing that's going to be your addiction for the rest of your life.
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I, unfortunately, take the subway a lot. It's not my preference, but it is my lot in life.
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I write so slowly, I could write with my own blood and not hurt myself.
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I write a sentence a thousand times, changing it all the time to look at it in different ways.
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Writing pornography is deadly, nothing duller. I mean a toll-taker has a more exciting life than a pornographer.
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I'm such a slow writer I have no need for anything as fast as a word processor. I don't need anything so snappy. I write so slowly that I could write in my own blood without hurting myself.
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Forcing people into a situation where they're supposed to adore each other is probably bad. But letting people get on and off the 6 train without stabbing each other, that's good.
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When we were young, we knew things. We knew basic history, even as it related to fashion. Now, when something reappears, an 18 year old has no clue that it's a revival. Despite the fact that they're almost always online they don't get references. I think that's part of why visual things are becoming so derivative.
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Polite conversation is rarely either.
Fran Lebowitz