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Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
House
Offended
Consequence
Leaving
Natural
History

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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I, unfortunately, take the subway a lot. It's not my preference, but it is my lot in life.
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If you want to get ahead in this world get a lawyer -- not a book.
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A great many people in Los Angeles are on special diets that restrict their intake of synthetic foods. The reason for this appears to be a widely held belief that organically grown fruits and vegetables make the cocaine work faster.
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My favorite animal is steak.
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[On not reading newspapers:] If something important happens, your mother calls you.
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There's too much democracy in the culture, not enough in the society.
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
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Luckily when you drive a cab there are two things: You don't have a boss in the cab with you, and you are not facing the people that you are making money from.
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The French probably invented the very notion of discretion. It's not that they feel that what you don't know won't hurt you they feel that what you don't know won't hurt them. To the French lying is simply talking.
Fran Lebowitz
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Generally speaking, the poorer person summers where he winters.
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I don't like to read nonfiction. To me, fact is something I can look up.
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
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Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
Fran Lebowitz
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No one earns $100 million. You steal $100 million.
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If there had been a job of being a reader, I would have taken that, because I love to read and I don't love to write. That would be blissful.
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Writing is so hard. Why would you be a writer if you weren't really good at it? If you could be anything else, why would you be a writer?
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The other day I read that last year 58 million tourists came to New York ... where a puny eight million people are trying to live. Unless they own a hotel chain, I don't think a single one of these eight million people are happy about this.
Fran Lebowitz
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Will power is not telling anybody you quit smoking.
Fran Lebowitz
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I'm such a slow writer I have no need for anything as fast as a word processor. I don't need anything so snappy. I write so slowly that I could write in my own blood without hurting myself.
Fran Lebowitz