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Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Offended
Consequence
Leaving
Natural
History
House

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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You sit or stand in the subway, and you look around - I do, because I don't have a phone so I'm not playing a game - and you see people.
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I'm very lazy, I hate to work.
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When I fly, I'm never afraid the plane is going to crash. But there have often been times when I was afraid it wouldn't crash. I was just afraid it was going to circle O'Hare for the rest of my life.
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All style is personal - that's what distinguishes it from fashion.
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Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
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Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
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Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
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I just write when fear overtakes me.
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Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in mood, children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement-mixer long after one's own interest in the topic has waned.
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If you want to get ahead in this world get a lawyer -- not a book.
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The other day I read that last year 58 million tourists came to New York ... where a puny eight million people are trying to live. Unless they own a hotel chain, I don't think a single one of these eight million people are happy about this.
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I write so slowly, I could write with my own blood and not hurt myself.
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I wish that real estate were cheaper and clothes were more expensive.
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If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded as American culture, you would pretty much be left with Let's Make a Deal.
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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A woman's quest in life should be to find the perfect apartment. And I have found the perfect apartment. The perfect apartment is the first floor of the Metropolitan Museum. With a sofa.
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Sleep is death without the responsibility.
Fran Lebowitz
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I write a sentence a thousand times, changing it all the time to look at it in different ways.
Fran Lebowitz
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China is not a great idea: capitalism and a dictator. It's like the two worst possible things you could imagine together. It's a very bad idea.
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Most writers write too much. I have the exact opposite problem. I feel I could write almost anything in a paragraph. I have a natural ability to condense, and so I often think, Are you kidding me? Five thousand words? How am I gonna make 5,000 words out of that?
Fran Lebowitz