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Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Natural
History
House
Offended
Consequence
Leaving

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Telling someone he looks healthy isn't a compliment -- it's a second opinion.
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There's too much democracy in the culture, not enough in the society.
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It is, in fact, safe to assume that, more often than not, life imitates craft, for who among us can say that our experience does not more closely resemble a macramé plant holder than it does a painting by Seurat. When it comes to art, life is the biggest copycat in the matter of the frame.
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
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I think one manifestation of integrity is holding a grudge. Saying no is a little different. Holding a grudge is the modern equivalent of having standards.
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I don't like to read nonfiction. To me, fact is something I can look up.
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I drank my lifetime supply of alcohol and I took my lifetime supply of drugs between the ages of 15 and 19.
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If people don't hold grudges, it means they just don't care what people do.
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If you want to get ahead in this world get a lawyer -- not a book.
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If there had been a job of being a reader, I would have taken that, because I love to read and I don't love to write. That would be blissful.
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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Money...buys privacy, silence. The less money you have, the noisier it is the thinner your walls, the closer your neighbors.... The first thing you notice when you step into the house or apartment of a rich person is how quiet it is.
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I doubt there's ever been a true thing said on Fox. Maybe the weather report, maybe not.
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Television turned out to be exactly as bad as the most irritating and pedantic intellectuals of the '50s said it was going to be.
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In Rome people spend most of their time having lunch. And they do it very well - Rome is unquestionably the lunch capital of the world.
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Perhaps one of the more noteworthy trends of our time is the occupation of buildings accompanied by the taking of hostages. The perpetrators of these deeds are generally motivated by political grievance, social injustice, and the deeply felt desire to see how they look on TV.
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The main symptom of falling in love is that you lose your intellectual prowess.
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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
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The French probably invented the very notion of discretion. It's not that they feel that what you don't know won't hurt you they feel that what you don't know won't hurt them. To the French lying is simply talking.
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No one's supposed to be the president. This is not England. And it's not just the Bush family, all families designate each child as having some particular trait.
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