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No one earns $100 million. You steal $100 million.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Earns
Steal
Stealing
Million
Millions

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
Fran Lebowitz
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There are too many books. The books are terrible. And this is because you have been taught to have self-esteem.
Fran Lebowitz
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Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.
Fran Lebowitz
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People who get married because they're in love make a ridiculous mistake. It makes much more sense to marry your best friend. You like your best friend more than anyone you're ever going to be in love with. You dont choose your best friend because they have a cute nose.
Fran Lebowitz
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I always liked people who are older. Of course, every year it gets harder to find them.
Fran Lebowitz
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if you live in New York and you have a guest room, you have guests. So I think it's best not to have a guest room.
Fran Lebowitz
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Polite conversation is rarely either.
Fran Lebowitz
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Writers have problems writing sex scenes, because writing one really well is pornography.
Fran Lebowitz
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Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
Fran Lebowitz
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Smoking is, if not my life, then at least my hobby. I love to smoke. Smoking is fun. Smoking is cool. Smoking is, as far as I am concerned, the entire point of being an adult.
Fran Lebowitz
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I think one manifestation of integrity is holding a grudge. Saying no is a little different. Holding a grudge is the modern equivalent of having standards.
Fran Lebowitz
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If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.
Fran Lebowitz
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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
Fran Lebowitz
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What I can't be is monogamous. That tends to upset people. I just don't like domestic life.
Fran Lebowitz
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
Fran Lebowitz
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Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in mood, children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement-mixer long after one's own interest in the topic has waned.
Fran Lebowitz
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
Fran Lebowitz
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It is, in fact, safe to assume that, more often than not, life imitates craft, for who among us can say that our experience does not more closely resemble a macramé plant holder than it does a painting by Seurat. When it comes to art, life is the biggest copycat in the matter of the frame.
Fran Lebowitz
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Life was certainly more entertaining when people were indulging their vices as opposed to going to meetings to indulge in a new vice: discussing their innermost thoughts in public.
Fran Lebowitz
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When I fly, I'm never afraid the plane is going to crash. But there have often been times when I was afraid it wouldn't crash. I was just afraid it was going to circle O'Hare for the rest of my life.
Fran Lebowitz