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I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Use
Love
Pleasant
Safe
Sleep

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Any artist who has that quality of timelessness has that quality because they tell the truth.
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
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I have a hard time writing. Most writers have a hard time writing. I have a harder time than most because I'm lazier than most. I don't want to brag, but I'm the laziest person I have ever known.
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People always say pop culture. As if we have some high culture to distinguish it from.
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The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
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...I believed passionately that Communists were a race of horned men who divided their time equally between the burning of Nancy Drew books and the devising of a plan of nuclear attack that would land the largest and most lethal bomb squarely upon the third-grade class of Thomas Jefferson School in Morristown, New Jersey.
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Did it ever occur to anyone that if you put nice libraries in public schools you wouldn't have to put them in prisons?
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Tourism as a number-one industry is a terrible, terrible idea for any city, especially New York. If you were going to turn a city, which is a place where people live, into a tourist attraction, you're going to have to make it a place that people who don't live here, like. So I object to living in a place for people who don't live here.
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The second I learned to read in first grade, when I was 5, I preferred it to life. And I still do.
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I doubt there's ever been a true thing said on Fox. Maybe the weather report, maybe not.
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I hate academic mysteries. As soon as I come across the word 'don' and it's not someone's first name, I close the book.
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When I fly, I'm never afraid the plane is going to crash. But there have often been times when I was afraid it wouldn't crash. I was just afraid it was going to circle O'Hare for the rest of my life.
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Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word collectible as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success.
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Perhaps the least cheering statement ever made on the subject of art is that life imitates it.
Fran Lebowitz
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Luckily when you drive a cab there are two things: You don't have a boss in the cab with you, and you are not facing the people that you are making money from.
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To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab.
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There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn.
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I woke up at five o'clock in the morning with the whole first paragraph in my head. Now, this just shows what a slothful person I am: I tried to go back to sleep.
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You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
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Inhabitants of underdeveloped nations and victims of natural disasters are the only people who have ever been happy to see soybeans.
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