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When it comes to sports I am not particularly interested. Generally speaking, I look upon them as dangerous and tiring activities performed by people with whom I share nothing except the right to trial by jury.
Fran Lebowitz
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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
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Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
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More quotes by Fran Lebowitz
The first people who died of AIDS were artists. They were the most interesting people.
Fran Lebowitz
People who are well-known, famous people, I think, make very poor characters for fiction. They make good characters for gossip columns. But not for fiction.
Fran Lebowitz
When I was young, boys didn't type.
Fran Lebowitz
Without these tourists, New York would be fantastic. I don't want them to come. Stay home!
Fran Lebowitz
Polite conversation is rarely either.
Fran Lebowitz
You sit or stand in the subway, and you look around - I do, because I don't have a phone so I'm not playing a game - and you see people.
Fran Lebowitz
If you're going to America, bring your own food.
Fran Lebowitz
The main symptom of falling in love is that you lose your intellectual prowess.
Fran Lebowitz
[On not reading newspapers:] If something important happens, your mother calls you.
Fran Lebowitz
...I believed passionately that Communists were a race of horned men who divided their time equally between the burning of Nancy Drew books and the devising of a plan of nuclear attack that would land the largest and most lethal bomb squarely upon the third-grade class of Thomas Jefferson School in Morristown, New Jersey.
Fran Lebowitz
No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
Fran Lebowitz
Marriage entitles women to the protection of a strong man who will steady the stepladder while they paint the kitchen ceiling.
Fran Lebowitz
Everything in Japan is hidden. Real life has an unlisted phone number.
Fran Lebowitz
Think before you speak. Read before you think.
Fran Lebowitz
When Toni Morrison said 'write the book you want to read,' she didn't mean everybody.
Fran Lebowitz
I do not think everyone is created equal. In fact, I know they're not. [The Constitution] means that everyone should have the same laws as everyone else. It doesn't mean that everyone's as smart or as cute or as lucky as everyone else.
Fran Lebowitz
I never would start writing before midnight and I would finish at, like, seven in the morning.
Fran Lebowitz
Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word collectible as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success.
Fran Lebowitz
Perhaps the least cheering statement ever made on the subject of art is that life imitates it.
Fran Lebowitz
Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
Fran Lebowitz
