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Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Illness
Mental
Love
Pleasurable
Romantic

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A great many people in Los Angeles are on special diets that restrict their intake of synthetic foods. The reason for this appears to be a widely held belief that organically grown fruits and vegetables make the cocaine work faster.
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There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn.
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In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
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You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
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Without these tourists, New York would be fantastic. I don't want them to come. Stay home!
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We live in a culture where everyone is perfectly willing to do this [to make a lot of money], and they're just looking for the opportunity. Obviously, a person who is really dumb is not gonna make a zillion dollars. But for a person who is really smart, really smart, it's a boring pursuit. It's not endlessly fascinating.
Fran Lebowitz
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Marriage entitles women to the protection of a strong man who will steady the stepladder while they paint the kitchen ceiling.
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Everything in Japan is hidden. Real life has an unlisted phone number.
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If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
Fran Lebowitz
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[On the writers she admires:] I prefer dead writers, because I don't see them at parties.
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Until I was about 7, I thought books were just there, like trees. When I learned that people actually wrote them, I wanted to, too, because all children aspire to inhuman feats like flying. Most people grow up to realize they can't fly. Writers are people who don't grow up to realize they can't be God.
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It is, in fact, safe to assume that, more often than not, life imitates craft, for who among us can say that our experience does not more closely resemble a macramé plant holder than it does a painting by Seurat. When it comes to art, life is the biggest copycat in the matter of the frame.
Fran Lebowitz
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When I was very little, say five or six, I became aware of the fact that people wrote books. Before that, I thought that God wrote books. I thought a book was a manifestation of nature, like a tree.
Fran Lebowitz
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I just write when fear overtakes me.
Fran Lebowitz
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
Fran Lebowitz
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Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.
Fran Lebowitz
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Polite conversation is rarely either.
Fran Lebowitz
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Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
Fran Lebowitz
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The truth is that most families have no smart ones and no pretty ones. Most families are a bunch of unattractive dopes. And it turns out that the Bush family, like most families, has no smart ones. I was not surprised to see this.
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Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
Fran Lebowitz