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I write so slowly, I could write with my own blood and not hurt myself.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Slowly
Blood
Hurt
Write
Writing

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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I hate writing. I will do anything to avoid it. The only way I could write less was if I was dead.
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A woman's quest in life should be to find the perfect apartment. And I have found the perfect apartment. The perfect apartment is the first floor of the Metropolitan Museum. With a sofa.
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There's too much democracy in the culture, not enough in the society.
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I drove a cab. But all the girls I knew when I was young who had to work - there were rich girls - but the ones who had to work were waitresses. Because you could always get shifts in a restaurant.
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I have the exact opposite problem of every writer I've ever met: Every writer I've ever met writes things that are too long, and they have to edit them down.
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In New York we have zillions of different kinds of people, many of them hate each other, but violence based on that hatred is really uncommon here.
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Once you go outside your natural audience, there are tons of people that don't like you.
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I have a hard time writing. Most writers have a hard time writing. I have a harder time than most because I'm lazier than most. I don't want to brag, but I'm the laziest person I have ever known.
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There are certain relationships I think I'm great at: I'm the world's greatest daughter. I'm a great relative. I believe I'm a great friend.
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I do not think everyone is created equal. In fact, I know they're not. [The Constitution] means that everyone should have the same laws as everyone else. It doesn't mean that everyone's as smart or as cute or as lucky as everyone else.
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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
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To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab.
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Until I was about 7, I thought books were just there, like trees. When I learned that people actually wrote them, I wanted to, too, because all children aspire to inhuman feats like flying. Most people grow up to realize they can't fly. Writers are people who don't grow up to realize they can't be God.
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
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I prefer dead writers because you don't run into them at parties.
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For the movie review columns, I always knew exactly what I was going to write about - the movies.
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Not writing is probably the most exhausting profession I've ever encountered.
Fran Lebowitz