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I write so slowly, I could write with my own blood and not hurt myself.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Hurt
Write
Writing
Slowly
Blood

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Frenchman: Germans with good food.
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To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab.
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All style is personal - that's what distinguishes it from fashion.
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Polite conversation is rarely either.
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Writers have problems writing sex scenes, because writing one really well is pornography.
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When I was young, boys didn't type.
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There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn.
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For the movie review columns, I always knew exactly what I was going to write about - the movies.
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London: A place you go to get bronchitis.
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I do not think everyone is created equal. In fact, I know they're not. [The Constitution] means that everyone should have the same laws as everyone else. It doesn't mean that everyone's as smart or as cute or as lucky as everyone else.
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Luckily when you drive a cab there are two things: You don't have a boss in the cab with you, and you are not facing the people that you are making money from.
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Did it ever occur to anyone that if you put nice libraries in public schools you wouldn't have to put them in prisons?
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Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.
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You can be nasty when you are young, but you really have to be older to achieve bitterness.
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Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
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In New York we have zillions of different kinds of people, many of them hate each other, but violence based on that hatred is really uncommon here.
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Take away a man's actual sense of manhood - which is conventionally based on the ability to work, to earn money, to be self-sufficient, to provide for children - and you've got to give them something else. And they did.
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Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in mood, children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement-mixer long after one's own interest in the topic has waned.
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Food is definitely important part of your balanced diet.
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
Fran Lebowitz