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I write so slowly, I could write with my own blood and not hurt myself.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Slowly
Blood
Hurt
Write
Writing

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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Think before you speak. Read before you think. This will give you something to think about that you didn't make up yourself - a wise move at any age, but most especially at seventeen, when you are in the greatest danger of coming to annoying conclusions.
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Breakfast cereals that come in the same colors as polyester leisure suits make oversleeping a virtue.
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The Italians are the most civilized people. And they're very warm. Basically, they're Jews with great architecture.
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The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
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In New York we have zillions of different kinds of people, many of them hate each other, but violence based on that hatred is really uncommon here.
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When someone asks, 'Why do you think he's not calling me?' there's always one answer - 'He's not interested.' There's not ever any other answer.
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Cold soup is a very tricky thing and it is a rare hostess who can carry it off. More often than not the dinner guest is left with the impression that had he only come a little earlier he could have gotten it while it was still hot.
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I stopped taking drugs when I was 19, and who wants to drive a cab around New York with drugs in their car?
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I used to love to write. As a child I used to write all the time. I loved to write up until the second I got my first professional writing job. It turns out it's not that I hate to write. I hate, simply, to work.
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There is nothing more mine than my writing, nothing I'm more proprietary about.
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Even when America is not working that well, it still works better than other places.
Fran Lebowitz
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I doubt there's ever been a true thing said on Fox. Maybe the weather report, maybe not.
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If you're going to America, bring your own food.
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The second I learned to read in first grade, when I was 5, I preferred it to life. And I still do.
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I had to go on TV with the president of the Catholic League, which is not an official organization at all, just a lot of Catholics, or maybe it's just this guy. He demanded to de-fund art completely and argued that taxpayers should not pay for it. I said people who represent the Catholic Church shouldn't talk about taxes.
Fran Lebowitz
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Will power is not telling anybody you quit smoking.
Fran Lebowitz
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Writing is so hard. Why would you be a writer if you weren't really good at it? If you could be anything else, why would you be a writer?
Fran Lebowitz
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I do not think everyone is created equal. In fact, I know they're not. [The Constitution] means that everyone should have the same laws as everyone else. It doesn't mean that everyone's as smart or as cute or as lucky as everyone else.
Fran Lebowitz
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
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When Toni Morrison said 'write the book you want to read,' she didn't mean everybody.
Fran Lebowitz