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I write so slowly, I could write with my own blood and not hurt myself.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Slowly
Blood
Hurt
Write
Writing

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I hate all jobs. I've never had a job I liked.
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If you read a lot, nothing is as great as you've imagined. Venice is - Venice is better.
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If people don't hold grudges, it means they just don't care what people do.
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I never wanted to have any extra money, if it meant having to have any extra work.
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When someone asks, 'Why do you think he's not calling me?' there's always one answer - 'He's not interested.' There's not ever any other answer.
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I'm such a slow writer I have no need for anything as fast as a word processor. I don't need anything so snappy. I write so slowly that I could write in my own blood without hurting myself.
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Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
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There's nothing like being old to be sure of everything.
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The first people who died of AIDS were artists. They were the most interesting people.
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Now the culture is made of old things, it's a collage. Art made out of art is not art. You're supposed to make art out of life.
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Think before you speak. Read before you think. This will give you something to think about that you didn't make up yourself - a wise move at any age, but most especially at seventeen, when you are in the greatest danger of coming to annoying conclusions.
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I think one manifestation of integrity is holding a grudge. Saying no is a little different. Holding a grudge is the modern equivalent of having standards.
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Do not have your child's hair cut by a real hairdresser in a real hairdressing salon. He is, at this point, far too short to be exposed to contempt.
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There are some great writers who are great talkers, but there are more great writers who are not great talkers. People seem to think there is some connection between talking and writing, but I love to talk and if there were some connection between the two of them I would be the most prolific writer in the history of the world.
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I have friends, some of whom are spectacularly good writers, who really want someone to edit them. I don't register that impulse. It's like the impulse for wanting a dog.
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Will power is not telling anybody you quit smoking.
Fran Lebowitz
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A great many people in Los Angeles are on special diets that restrict their intake of synthetic foods. The reason for this appears to be a widely held belief that organically grown fruits and vegetables make the cocaine work faster.
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You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
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Frenchman: Germans with good food.
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Even when America is not working that well, it still works better than other places.
Fran Lebowitz