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To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Pass
Order
Must
Outdoors
Apartment

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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No one's supposed to be the president. This is not England. And it's not just the Bush family, all families designate each child as having some particular trait.
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Most writers write too much. I have the exact opposite problem. I feel I could write almost anything in a paragraph. I have a natural ability to condense, and so I often think, Are you kidding me? Five thousand words? How am I gonna make 5,000 words out of that?
Fran Lebowitz
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I hate all jobs. I've never had a job I liked.
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I'm a horrible girlfriend. I always was. I'm great at the beginning, because I can be very romantic.
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If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded as American culture, you would pretty much be left with Let's Make a Deal.
Fran Lebowitz
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A community is a butcher and a doctor, a minister, a town troublemaker. A community is not a bunch of people united by some grievance. That's just self-righteousness - incredibly dangerous and antidemocratic.
Fran Lebowitz
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Communism requires of its adherents that they arise early and participate in a strenuous round of calisthenics. To someone who wishes that cigarettes came already lit the thought of such exertion at an hour when decent people are just nodding off is thoroughly abhorrent.
Fran Lebowitz
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I never would start writing before midnight and I would finish at, like, seven in the morning.
Fran Lebowitz
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Food is definitely important part of your balanced diet.
Fran Lebowitz
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Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
Fran Lebowitz
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Once you go outside your natural audience, there are tons of people that don't like you.
Fran Lebowitz
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[On the writers she admires:] I prefer dead writers, because I don't see them at parties.
Fran Lebowitz
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The Italians are the most civilized people. And they're very warm. Basically, they're Jews with great architecture.
Fran Lebowitz
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Not writing is probably the most exhausting profession I've ever encountered.
Fran Lebowitz
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No one I knew talked about money. It's not an area of interest.
Fran Lebowitz
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When I fly, I'm never afraid the plane is going to crash. But there have often been times when I was afraid it wouldn't crash. I was just afraid it was going to circle O'Hare for the rest of my life.
Fran Lebowitz
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There's nothing like being old to be sure of everything.
Fran Lebowitz
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...I believed passionately that Communists were a race of horned men who divided their time equally between the burning of Nancy Drew books and the devising of a plan of nuclear attack that would land the largest and most lethal bomb squarely upon the third-grade class of Thomas Jefferson School in Morristown, New Jersey.
Fran Lebowitz
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A salad is not a meal, it is a style.
Fran Lebowitz
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The truth is that most families have no smart ones and no pretty ones. Most families are a bunch of unattractive dopes. And it turns out that the Bush family, like most families, has no smart ones. I was not surprised to see this.
Fran Lebowitz