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I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Cashmere
Believe

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
Fran Lebowitz
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
Fran Lebowitz
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if you live in New York and you have a guest room, you have guests. So I think it's best not to have a guest room.
Fran Lebowitz
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There are certain relationships I think I'm great at: I'm the world's greatest daughter. I'm a great relative. I believe I'm a great friend.
Fran Lebowitz
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The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
Fran Lebowitz
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Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in mood, children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement-mixer long after one's own interest in the topic has waned.
Fran Lebowitz
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I don't like the kind of country living where you have to help. I like country living where there is help.
Fran Lebowitz
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People care more about trends now than they do about style. They get so wrapped up in what's happening that they forget how to dress, and they never learn who they are because they never learn how to take care of anything.
Fran Lebowitz
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If you're going to America, bring your own food.
Fran Lebowitz
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If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
Fran Lebowitz
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Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
Fran Lebowitz
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Smoking is, if not my life, then at least my hobby. I love to smoke. Smoking is fun. Smoking is cool. Smoking is, as far as I am concerned, the entire point of being an adult.
Fran Lebowitz
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Sleep is death without the responsibility.
Fran Lebowitz
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Middle class was defined by having certain values and only a certain amount of money. But this new middle class seems to have absolutely no values and an unlimited amount of money.
Fran Lebowitz
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
Fran Lebowitz
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
Fran Lebowitz
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There is nothing more mine than my writing, nothing I'm more proprietary about.
Fran Lebowitz
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I hate academic mysteries. As soon as I come across the word 'don' and it's not someone's first name, I close the book.
Fran Lebowitz
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I love being in love. I don't think anything compares with it, though I consider it very disruptive.
Fran Lebowitz
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Did it ever occur to anyone that if you put nice libraries in public schools you wouldn't have to put them in prisons?
Fran Lebowitz