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I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Cashmere
Believe

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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I am not... totally unreceptive to colour providing it makes its appearance quietly, deferentially, and without undue fanfare.
Fran Lebowitz
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Until I was about 7, I thought books were just there, like trees. When I learned that people actually wrote them, I wanted to, too, because all children aspire to inhuman feats like flying. Most people grow up to realize they can't fly. Writers are people who don't grow up to realize they can't be God.
Fran Lebowitz
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Most writers write too much. I have the exact opposite problem. I feel I could write almost anything in a paragraph. I have a natural ability to condense, and so I often think, Are you kidding me? Five thousand words? How am I gonna make 5,000 words out of that?
Fran Lebowitz
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I have the exact opposite problem of every writer I've ever met: Every writer I've ever met writes things that are too long, and they have to edit them down.
Fran Lebowitz
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My favorite animal is steak.
Fran Lebowitz
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I'm a horrible girlfriend. I always was. I'm great at the beginning, because I can be very romantic.
Fran Lebowitz
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Writers have problems writing sex scenes, because writing one really well is pornography.
Fran Lebowitz
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
Fran Lebowitz
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All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
Fran Lebowitz
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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
Fran Lebowitz
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The first people who died of AIDS were artists. They were the most interesting people.
Fran Lebowitz
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It's much easier to write a solemn book than a funny book. It's harder to make people laugh than it is to make them cry. People are always on the verge of tears.
Fran Lebowitz
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I don't like to read nonfiction. To me, fact is something I can look up.
Fran Lebowitz
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I doubt there's ever been a true thing said on Fox. Maybe the weather report, maybe not.
Fran Lebowitz
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Perhaps one of the more noteworthy trends of our time is the occupation of buildings accompanied by the taking of hostages. The perpetrators of these deeds are generally motivated by political grievance, social injustice, and the deeply felt desire to see how they look on TV.
Fran Lebowitz
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Without these tourists, New York would be fantastic. I don't want them to come. Stay home!
Fran Lebowitz
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A community is a butcher and a doctor, a minister, a town troublemaker. A community is not a bunch of people united by some grievance. That's just self-righteousness - incredibly dangerous and antidemocratic.
Fran Lebowitz
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It is not true that there is dignity in all work. Some jobs are definitely better than others.
Fran Lebowitz
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It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensive domestic cigars.
Fran Lebowitz
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I drank my lifetime supply of alcohol and I took my lifetime supply of drugs between the ages of 15 and 19.
Fran Lebowitz