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Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
Fran Lebowitz
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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 73
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Clothings
First
Clothing
Never
Hotel
Telling
Literature
Valet
Back
Relinquish
Hospitality
Firsts
Specifically
Without
More quotes by Fran Lebowitz
If people don't hold grudges, it means they just don't care what people do.
Fran Lebowitz
If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.
Fran Lebowitz
Anti-smoking sentiment has replaced middle-class morality entirely. The smoker has taken the place of the homosexual. Today you hear people say things about smokers that used to be said about homosexuals - they pollute the environment you don't want them around your children.
Fran Lebowitz
Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.
Fran Lebowitz
The great thing about New Jersey is that it's close to New York.
Fran Lebowitz
Think before you speak. Read before you think. This will give you something to think about that you didn't make up yourself - a wise move at any age, but most especially at seventeen, when you are in the greatest danger of coming to annoying conclusions.
Fran Lebowitz
Writers have problems writing sex scenes, because writing one really well is pornography.
Fran Lebowitz
Did it ever occur to anyone that if you put nice libraries in public schools you wouldn't have to put them in prisons?
Fran Lebowitz
When I saw a phone on a plane for the first time, I panicked ... I thought people were going to call me.
Fran Lebowitz
Inhabitants of underdeveloped nations and victims of natural disasters are the only people who have ever been happy to see soybeans.
Fran Lebowitz
In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
Fran Lebowitz
Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
Fran Lebowitz
The first people who died of AIDS were artists. They were the most interesting people.
Fran Lebowitz
Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in mood, children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement-mixer long after one's own interest in the topic has waned.
Fran Lebowitz
Once you go outside your natural audience, there are tons of people that don't like you.
Fran Lebowitz
Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.
Fran Lebowitz
A salad is not a meal, it is a style.
Fran Lebowitz
[On the writers she admires:] I prefer dead writers, because I don't see them at parties.
Fran Lebowitz
When we were young, we knew things. We knew basic history, even as it related to fashion. Now, when something reappears, an 18 year old has no clue that it's a revival. Despite the fact that they're almost always online they don't get references. I think that's part of why visual things are becoming so derivative.
Fran Lebowitz
Writers get exactly the right amount of fame: just enough to get a good table in a restaurant but not enough so that people are constantly interrupting you while you're eating dinner.
Fran Lebowitz