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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Substitute
Substitutes
Humility
Personality
Inspirational
Good

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When someone asks, 'Why do you think he's not calling me?' there's always one answer - 'He's not interested.' There's not ever any other answer.
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I never would start writing before midnight and I would finish at, like, seven in the morning.
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Writers get exactly the right amount of fame: just enough to get a good table in a restaurant but not enough so that people are constantly interrupting you while you're eating dinner.
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A great many people in Los Angeles are on special diets that restrict their intake of synthetic foods. The reason for this appears to be a widely held belief that organically grown fruits and vegetables make the cocaine work faster.
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My dream writing room would be the Imperial Library in Vienna.
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There are certain relationships I think I'm great at: I'm the world's greatest daughter. I'm a great relative. I believe I'm a great friend.
Fran Lebowitz
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I always liked people who are older. Of course, every year it gets harder to find them.
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No one earns $100 million. You steal $100 million.
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Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
Fran Lebowitz
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All style is personal - that's what distinguishes it from fashion.
Fran Lebowitz
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Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
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I hate academic mysteries. As soon as I come across the word 'don' and it's not someone's first name, I close the book.
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I love being in love. I don't think anything compares with it, though I consider it very disruptive.
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It's very important when making a friend to check and see if they have a private plane. People think a good personality trait in a friend is kindness or a sense of humor. No, in a friend a good personality trait is a Gulfstream.
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New York was always more expensive than any other place in the United States, but you could live in New York - and by New York, I mean Manhattan. Brooklyn was the borough of grandparents. We didn't live well. We lived in these horrible places. But you could live in New York. And you didn't have to think about money every second.
Fran Lebowitz
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For the movie review columns, I always knew exactly what I was going to write about - the movies.
Fran Lebowitz
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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
Fran Lebowitz
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Even when America is not working that well, it still works better than other places.
Fran Lebowitz
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The other day I read that last year 58 million tourists came to New York ... where a puny eight million people are trying to live. Unless they own a hotel chain, I don't think a single one of these eight million people are happy about this.
Fran Lebowitz
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If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded as American culture, you would pretty much be left with Let's Make a Deal.
Fran Lebowitz