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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 73
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Talk
Sarcasm
Fact
Sarcastic
Funny
Dues
Jockey
Facts
Allowed
Jockeys
Radio
Disk
News
Broadcast
Humor
Broadcasting
Literature
Bearable

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I wish that real estate were cheaper and clothes were more expensive.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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London: A place you go to get bronchitis.
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If there were, say, only 10 percent of the hotels that exist now, there would be all these apartments for people who live in New York, as opposed to people visiting New York. And then all this junk in the theater, we would no longer need the kind of stuff that tourists like.
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I hate writing. I will do anything to avoid it. The only way I could write less was if I was dead.
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The second I learned to read in first grade, when I was 5, I preferred it to life. And I still do.
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Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
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Any artist who has that quality of timelessness has that quality because they tell the truth.
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Forcing people into a situation where they're supposed to adore each other is probably bad. But letting people get on and off the 6 train without stabbing each other, that's good.
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If you want to get ahead in this world get a lawyer -- not a book.
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
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Whenever I am doing anything else, which is most of the time, even if it is not something like robbing a bank, I feel felonious. Writing is what I'm supposed to be doing.
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Most writers write too much. I have the exact opposite problem. I feel I could write almost anything in a paragraph. I have a natural ability to condense, and so I often think, Are you kidding me? Five thousand words? How am I gonna make 5,000 words out of that?
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My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
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This idea that people have to love and understand each other is absurd. It's not human nature.
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Take away a man's actual sense of manhood - which is conventionally based on the ability to work, to earn money, to be self-sufficient, to provide for children - and you've got to give them something else. And they did.
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All style is personal - that's what distinguishes it from fashion.
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I write a sentence a thousand times, changing it all the time to look at it in different ways.
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I love being in love. I don't think anything compares with it, though I consider it very disruptive.
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All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
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