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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Tend
Freshly
Obvious
Sticky
Childhood
Newborn
Baby
Washed
Food
Relieved
Kids
Culinary
Children
Cooking
Even
Mom

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Breakfast cereals that come in the same colors as polyester leisure suits make oversleeping a virtue.
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People who get married because they're in love make a ridiculous mistake. It makes much more sense to marry your best friend. You like your best friend more than anyone you're ever going to be in love with. You dont choose your best friend because they have a cute nose.
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...I believed passionately that Communists were a race of horned men who divided their time equally between the burning of Nancy Drew books and the devising of a plan of nuclear attack that would land the largest and most lethal bomb squarely upon the third-grade class of Thomas Jefferson School in Morristown, New Jersey.
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If there were, say, only 10 percent of the hotels that exist now, there would be all these apartments for people who live in New York, as opposed to people visiting New York. And then all this junk in the theater, we would no longer need the kind of stuff that tourists like.
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Sleep is death without the responsibility.
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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
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Cheese that is required by law to append the word food to its title does not go well with red wine or fruit.
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What I can't be is monogamous. That tends to upset people. I just don't like domestic life.
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
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I'm very lazy, I hate to work.
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While clothes with pictures and/or writing on them are not entirely an invention of the modern age, they are an unpleasant indication of the general state of things. ... I mean, be realistic. If people don't want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater?
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I just write when fear overtakes me.
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Writing pornography is deadly, nothing duller. I mean a toll-taker has a more exciting life than a pornographer.
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If you're going to America, bring your own food.
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I love being in love. I don't think anything compares with it, though I consider it very disruptive.
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I had to go on TV with the president of the Catholic League, which is not an official organization at all, just a lot of Catholics, or maybe it's just this guy. He demanded to de-fund art completely and argued that taxpayers should not pay for it. I said people who represent the Catholic Church shouldn't talk about taxes.
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Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
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When Toni Morrison said 'write the book you want to read,' she didn't mean everybody.
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It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensive domestic cigars.
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You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
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