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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 73
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Iraq
Travel
Literature
Funny
Like
Rabbi
Taxi
Texas
Calling

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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Luckily when you drive a cab there are two things: You don't have a boss in the cab with you, and you are not facing the people that you are making money from.
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Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
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Television turned out to be exactly as bad as the most irritating and pedantic intellectuals of the '50s said it was going to be.
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No one earns $100 million. You steal $100 million.
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If people don't hold grudges, it means they just don't care what people do.
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You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
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Think before you speak. Read before you think. This will give you something to think about that you didn't make up yourself - a wise move at any age, but most especially at seventeen, when you are in the greatest danger of coming to annoying conclusions.
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When I fly, I'm never afraid the plane is going to crash. But there have often been times when I was afraid it wouldn't crash. I was just afraid it was going to circle O'Hare for the rest of my life.
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Not writing is probably the most exhausting profession I've ever encountered.
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Writers have problems writing sex scenes, because writing one really well is pornography.
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I just write when fear overtakes me.
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I woke up at five o'clock in the morning with the whole first paragraph in my head. Now, this just shows what a slothful person I am: I tried to go back to sleep.
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All style is personal - that's what distinguishes it from fashion.
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Middle class was defined by having certain values and only a certain amount of money. But this new middle class seems to have absolutely no values and an unlimited amount of money.
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I drank my lifetime supply of alcohol and I took my lifetime supply of drugs between the ages of 15 and 19.
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There are too many books. The books are terrible. And this is because you have been taught to have self-esteem.
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To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
Fran Lebowitz
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
Fran Lebowitz
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I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use.
Fran Lebowitz
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If you're going to America, bring your own food.
Fran Lebowitz