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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Funny
Like
Rabbi
Taxi
Texas
Calling
Iraq
Travel
Literature

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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All style is personal - that's what distinguishes it from fashion.
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In Rome people spend most of their time having lunch. And they do it very well - Rome is unquestionably the lunch capital of the world.
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Now people need special costumes to ride bicycles. I mean, a helmet, what, are you an astronaut??
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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
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The main symptom of falling in love is that you lose your intellectual prowess.
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Without these tourists, New York would be fantastic. I don't want them to come. Stay home!
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All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
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People always say pop culture. As if we have some high culture to distinguish it from.
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
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There's too much democracy in the culture, not enough in the society.
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When someone asks, 'Why do you think he's not calling me?' there's always one answer - 'He's not interested.' There's not ever any other answer.
Fran Lebowitz
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Most writers write too much. I have the exact opposite problem. I feel I could write almost anything in a paragraph. I have a natural ability to condense, and so I often think, Are you kidding me? Five thousand words? How am I gonna make 5,000 words out of that?
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Because I was young, I had this long hair, and people used to try to tip me with joints.
Fran Lebowitz
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I woke up at five o'clock in the morning with the whole first paragraph in my head. Now, this just shows what a slothful person I am: I tried to go back to sleep.
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Money...buys privacy, silence. The less money you have, the noisier it is the thinner your walls, the closer your neighbors.... The first thing you notice when you step into the house or apartment of a rich person is how quiet it is.
Fran Lebowitz
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Will power is not telling anybody you quit smoking.
Fran Lebowitz
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You sit or stand in the subway, and you look around - I do, because I don't have a phone so I'm not playing a game - and you see people.
Fran Lebowitz
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Writers get exactly the right amount of fame: just enough to get a good table in a restaurant but not enough so that people are constantly interrupting you while you're eating dinner.
Fran Lebowitz
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Nothing lasts. So it's my belief, yes, I know a lot of the things that we liked didn't last, but maybe things we don't like, they're also not going to last. There has been progress in my lifetime. There are certainly things that are better than when I was young, and there are things that are worse. New York City, it's worse. There's no question.
Fran Lebowitz
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You can be nasty when you are young, but you really have to be older to achieve bitterness.
Fran Lebowitz