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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Texas
Calling
Iraq
Travel
Literature
Funny
Like
Rabbi
Taxi

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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No one's supposed to be the president. This is not England. And it's not just the Bush family, all families designate each child as having some particular trait.
Fran Lebowitz
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If there had been a job of being a reader, I would have taken that, because I love to read and I don't love to write. That would be blissful.
Fran Lebowitz
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You can be nasty when you are young, but you really have to be older to achieve bitterness.
Fran Lebowitz
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Writing pornography is deadly, nothing duller. I mean a toll-taker has a more exciting life than a pornographer.
Fran Lebowitz
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Any artist who has that quality of timelessness has that quality because they tell the truth.
Fran Lebowitz
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Television turned out to be exactly as bad as the most irritating and pedantic intellectuals of the '50s said it was going to be.
Fran Lebowitz
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I, unfortunately, take the subway a lot. It's not my preference, but it is my lot in life.
Fran Lebowitz
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No one earns $100 million. You steal $100 million.
Fran Lebowitz
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I am not... totally unreceptive to colour providing it makes its appearance quietly, deferentially, and without undue fanfare.
Fran Lebowitz
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Did it ever occur to anyone that if you put nice libraries in public schools you wouldn't have to put them in prisons?
Fran Lebowitz
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
Fran Lebowitz
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People who are well-known, famous people, I think, make very poor characters for fiction. They make good characters for gossip columns. But not for fiction.
Fran Lebowitz
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
Fran Lebowitz
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There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn.
Fran Lebowitz
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Communism requires of its adherents that they arise early and participate in a strenuous round of calisthenics. To someone who wishes that cigarettes came already lit the thought of such exertion at an hour when decent people are just nodding off is thoroughly abhorrent.
Fran Lebowitz
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If you read a lot, nothing is as great as you've imagined. Venice is - Venice is better.
Fran Lebowitz
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A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.
Fran Lebowitz
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There's too much democracy in the culture, not enough in the society.
Fran Lebowitz
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I never had a typewriter. I never had any machines.
Fran Lebowitz
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I hate all jobs. I've never had a job I liked.
Fran Lebowitz