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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
Fran Lebowitz
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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 73
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Animal
Suggests
Tails
Poodles
Suggest
Sweater
Pet
Canine
Owners
Paws
Silly
Sweaters
Wear
Owner
Dog
Tail
More quotes by Fran Lebowitz
People always say pop culture. As if we have some high culture to distinguish it from.
Fran Lebowitz
I do not think everyone is created equal. In fact, I know they're not. [The Constitution] means that everyone should have the same laws as everyone else. It doesn't mean that everyone's as smart or as cute or as lucky as everyone else.
Fran Lebowitz
If you're going to America, bring your own food.
Fran Lebowitz
Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word collectible as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success.
Fran Lebowitz
The French probably invented the very notion of discretion. It's not that they feel that what you don't know won't hurt you they feel that what you don't know won't hurt them. To the French lying is simply talking.
Fran Lebowitz
I wouldn't say that I dislike the young. I'm simply not a fan of naïveté.
Fran Lebowitz
Nothing lasts. So it's my belief, yes, I know a lot of the things that we liked didn't last, but maybe things we don't like, they're also not going to last. There has been progress in my lifetime. There are certainly things that are better than when I was young, and there are things that are worse. New York City, it's worse. There's no question.
Fran Lebowitz
I'd like to decide who comes here. I'd like to be the admissions director of New York.
Fran Lebowitz
For the movie review columns, I always knew exactly what I was going to write about - the movies.
Fran Lebowitz
Smoking is, if not my life, then at least my hobby. I love to smoke. Smoking is fun. Smoking is cool. Smoking is, as far as I am concerned, the entire point of being an adult.
Fran Lebowitz
Japanese food is very pretty and undoubtedly a suitable cuisine in Japan, which is largely populated by people of below average size. Hostesses hell-bent on serving such food to occidentals would be well advised to supplement it with something more substantial and to keep in mind that almost everybody likes french fries.
Fran Lebowitz
Everything in Japan is hidden. Real life has an unlisted phone number.
Fran Lebowitz
I walk a lot in New York, not for the exercise but to get from place to place, and because it's the way of having the least contact with human beings.
Fran Lebowitz
Breakfast cereals that come in the same colors as polyester leisure suits make oversleeping a virtue.
Fran Lebowitz
The thing you love right away, don't do it, because that's the very thing that's going to be your addiction for the rest of your life.
Fran Lebowitz
I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.
Fran Lebowitz
I have the exact opposite problem of every writer I've ever met: Every writer I've ever met writes things that are too long, and they have to edit them down.
Fran Lebowitz
Spilling your guts is just exactly as charming as it sounds.
Fran Lebowitz
You can be nasty when you are young, but you really have to be older to achieve bitterness.
Fran Lebowitz
Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
Fran Lebowitz