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To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Back
Hotel
Witty
Travel
Type
Wants
Land
Rather
Nature
Bluntly

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Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
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The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
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Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
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If you want to get ahead in this world get a lawyer -- not a book.
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My dream writing room would be the Imperial Library in Vienna.
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I always liked people who are older. Of course, every year it gets harder to find them.
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
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When I was very little, say five or six, I became aware of the fact that people wrote books. Before that, I thought that God wrote books. I thought a book was a manifestation of nature, like a tree.
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Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
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Japanese food is very pretty and undoubtedly a suitable cuisine in Japan, which is largely populated by people of below average size. Hostesses hell-bent on serving such food to occidentals would be well advised to supplement it with something more substantial and to keep in mind that almost everybody likes french fries.
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The first people who died of AIDS were artists. They were the most interesting people.
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Marriage entitles women to the protection of a strong man who will steady the stepladder while they paint the kitchen ceiling.
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If you're going to America, bring your own food.
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I'm a horrible girlfriend. I always was. I'm great at the beginning, because I can be very romantic.
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Writing is so hard. Why would you be a writer if you weren't really good at it? If you could be anything else, why would you be a writer?
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I am not... totally unreceptive to colour providing it makes its appearance quietly, deferentially, and without undue fanfare.
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Because I was young, I had this long hair, and people used to try to tip me with joints.
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Polite conversation is rarely either.
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It would also have been helpful to have gone to a Catholic grammar school. The only people who know grammar are those people who went to Catholic grammar school. Those nuns beat it into them.
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There's too much democracy in the culture, not enough in the society.
Fran Lebowitz