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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
Fran Lebowitz
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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Animal
Jump
Certain
Dog
Ever
Absolutely
Conversation
Poodles
Unless
Canine
Room
Dining
Hold
Furniture
Rooms
Pet
More quotes by Fran Lebowitz
Cold soup is a very tricky thing and it is a rare hostess who can carry it off. More often than not the dinner guest is left with the impression that had he only come a little earlier he could have gotten it while it was still hot.
Fran Lebowitz
You sit or stand in the subway, and you look around - I do, because I don't have a phone so I'm not playing a game - and you see people.
Fran Lebowitz
I always make a big effort to make a distinction between what is actually worse or what is just worse about not being 21. Of course, it's much worse not to be 21. This is a given. But there are things that are worse.
Fran Lebowitz
Marriage entitles women to the protection of a strong man who will steady the stepladder while they paint the kitchen ceiling.
Fran Lebowitz
Whenever I am doing anything else, which is most of the time, even if it is not something like robbing a bank, I feel felonious. Writing is what I'm supposed to be doing.
Fran Lebowitz
There are certain relationships I think I'm great at: I'm the world's greatest daughter. I'm a great relative. I believe I'm a great friend.
Fran Lebowitz
If there had been a job of being a reader, I would have taken that, because I love to read and I don't love to write. That would be blissful.
Fran Lebowitz
I write a sentence a thousand times, changing it all the time to look at it in different ways.
Fran Lebowitz
New York was always more expensive than any other place in the United States, but you could live in New York - and by New York, I mean Manhattan. Brooklyn was the borough of grandparents. We didn't live well. We lived in these horrible places. But you could live in New York. And you didn't have to think about money every second.
Fran Lebowitz
If you're going to America, bring your own food.
Fran Lebowitz
As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
Fran Lebowitz
For the movie review columns, I always knew exactly what I was going to write about - the movies.
Fran Lebowitz
Cheese that is required by law to append the word food to its title does not go well with red wine or fruit.
Fran Lebowitz
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
Fran Lebowitz
I hate writing. I will do anything to avoid it. The only way I could write less was if I was dead.
Fran Lebowitz
I drove a cab. But all the girls I knew when I was young who had to work - there were rich girls - but the ones who had to work were waitresses. Because you could always get shifts in a restaurant.
Fran Lebowitz
When we were young, we knew things. We knew basic history, even as it related to fashion. Now, when something reappears, an 18 year old has no clue that it's a revival. Despite the fact that they're almost always online they don't get references. I think that's part of why visual things are becoming so derivative.
Fran Lebowitz
I have a hard time writing. Most writers have a hard time writing. I have a harder time than most because I'm lazier than most. I don't want to brag, but I'm the laziest person I have ever known.
Fran Lebowitz
You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
Fran Lebowitz
Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.
Fran Lebowitz
