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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Unless
Canine
Room
Dining
Hold
Furniture
Rooms
Pet
Animal
Jump
Certain
Dog
Ever
Absolutely
Conversation
Poodles

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Now people need special costumes to ride bicycles. I mean, a helmet, what, are you an astronaut??
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There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn.
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I walk a lot in New York, not for the exercise but to get from place to place, and because it's the way of having the least contact with human beings.
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Writing pornography is deadly, nothing duller. I mean a toll-taker has a more exciting life than a pornographer.
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When I saw a phone on a plane for the first time, I panicked ... I thought people were going to call me.
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No one I knew talked about money. It's not an area of interest.
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A salad is not a meal, it is a style.
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We live in a culture where everyone is perfectly willing to do this [to make a lot of money], and they're just looking for the opportunity. Obviously, a person who is really dumb is not gonna make a zillion dollars. But for a person who is really smart, really smart, it's a boring pursuit. It's not endlessly fascinating.
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Writers have problems writing sex scenes, because writing one really well is pornography.
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While clothes with pictures and/or writing on them are not entirely an invention of the modern age, they are an unpleasant indication of the general state of things. ... I mean, be realistic. If people don't want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater?
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All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
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I wish that real estate were cheaper and clothes were more expensive.
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Food is definitely important part of your balanced diet.
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Perhaps the least cheering statement ever made on the subject of art is that life imitates it.
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A community is a butcher and a doctor, a minister, a town troublemaker. A community is not a bunch of people united by some grievance. That's just self-righteousness - incredibly dangerous and antidemocratic.
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I doubt there's ever been a true thing said on Fox. Maybe the weather report, maybe not.
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