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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
Fran Lebowitz
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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 73
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Ever
Absolutely
Conversation
Poodles
Unless
Canine
Room
Dining
Hold
Furniture
Rooms
Pet
Animal
Jump
Certain
Dog
More quotes by Fran Lebowitz
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
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I, unfortunately, take the subway a lot. It's not my preference, but it is my lot in life.
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Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.
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When I fly, I'm never afraid the plane is going to crash. But there have often been times when I was afraid it wouldn't crash. I was just afraid it was going to circle O'Hare for the rest of my life.
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Any artist who has that quality of timelessness has that quality because they tell the truth.
Fran Lebowitz
It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensive domestic cigars.
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I walk a lot in New York, not for the exercise but to get from place to place, and because it's the way of having the least contact with human beings.
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I woke up at five o'clock in the morning with the whole first paragraph in my head. Now, this just shows what a slothful person I am: I tried to go back to sleep.
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Did it ever occur to anyone that if you put nice libraries in public schools you wouldn't have to put them in prisons?
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The first people who died of AIDS were artists. They were the most interesting people.
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I always liked people who are older. Of course, every year it gets harder to find them.
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I write a sentence a thousand times, changing it all the time to look at it in different ways.
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The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
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I doubt there's ever been a true thing said on Fox. Maybe the weather report, maybe not.
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When I saw a phone on a plane for the first time, I panicked ... I thought people were going to call me.
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Japanese food is very pretty and undoubtedly a suitable cuisine in Japan, which is largely populated by people of below average size. Hostesses hell-bent on serving such food to occidentals would be well advised to supplement it with something more substantial and to keep in mind that almost everybody likes french fries.
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Sleep is death without the responsibility.
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Forcing people into a situation where they're supposed to adore each other is probably bad. But letting people get on and off the 6 train without stabbing each other, that's good.
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Cold soup is a very tricky thing and it is a rare hostess who can carry it off. More often than not the dinner guest is left with the impression that had he only come a little earlier he could have gotten it while it was still hot.
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