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I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Never
Smart
Life
Wonder
Child
Literature
Anyone
Adulthood
Didn
Mets
Happens
Intelligence
Children
Reach

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I have friends, some of whom are spectacularly good writers, who really want someone to edit them. I don't register that impulse. It's like the impulse for wanting a dog.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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A community is a butcher and a doctor, a minister, a town troublemaker. A community is not a bunch of people united by some grievance. That's just self-righteousness - incredibly dangerous and antidemocratic.
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I walk a lot in New York, not for the exercise but to get from place to place, and because it's the way of having the least contact with human beings.
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The Italians are the most civilized people. And they're very warm. Basically, they're Jews with great architecture.
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If there were, say, only 10 percent of the hotels that exist now, there would be all these apartments for people who live in New York, as opposed to people visiting New York. And then all this junk in the theater, we would no longer need the kind of stuff that tourists like.
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Did it ever occur to anyone that if you put nice libraries in public schools you wouldn't have to put them in prisons?
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
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In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
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The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
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I'm like the laziest person who ever lived. It's amazing to me I even sit up.
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I'm not a Communist. I'm an American. I'm a capitalist. I mean, I'm not a very good capitalist, myself. I'm not very good at it, but it's not that I'm not for capitalism. But people who believe in things like corporate citizenship, it's idiotic. I mean, it shows you're an idiot.
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All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
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I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.
Fran Lebowitz
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The French probably invented the very notion of discretion. It's not that they feel that what you don't know won't hurt you they feel that what you don't know won't hurt them. To the French lying is simply talking.
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People always say pop culture. As if we have some high culture to distinguish it from.
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I have a hard time writing. Most writers have a hard time writing. I have a harder time than most because I'm lazier than most. I don't want to brag, but I'm the laziest person I have ever known.
Fran Lebowitz
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The truth is that most families have no smart ones and no pretty ones. Most families are a bunch of unattractive dopes. And it turns out that the Bush family, like most families, has no smart ones. I was not surprised to see this.
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There are some great writers who are great talkers, but there are more great writers who are not great talkers. People seem to think there is some connection between talking and writing, but I love to talk and if there were some connection between the two of them I would be the most prolific writer in the history of the world.
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A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.
Fran Lebowitz