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I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Life
Wonder
Child
Literature
Anyone
Adulthood
Didn
Mets
Happens
Intelligence
Children
Reach
Never
Smart

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I think one manifestation of integrity is holding a grudge. Saying no is a little different. Holding a grudge is the modern equivalent of having standards.
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I never would start writing before midnight and I would finish at, like, seven in the morning.
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Did it ever occur to anyone that if you put nice libraries in public schools you wouldn't have to put them in prisons?
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If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.
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Marriage entitles women to the protection of a strong man who will steady the stepladder while they paint the kitchen ceiling.
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I wouldn't say that I dislike the young. I'm simply not a fan of naïveté.
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I am not... totally unreceptive to colour providing it makes its appearance quietly, deferentially, and without undue fanfare.
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Now the culture is made of old things, it's a collage. Art made out of art is not art. You're supposed to make art out of life.
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If you want to get ahead in this world get a lawyer -- not a book.
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I always make a big effort to make a distinction between what is actually worse or what is just worse about not being 21. Of course, it's much worse not to be 21. This is a given. But there are things that are worse.
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In Rome people spend most of their time having lunch. And they do it very well - Rome is unquestionably the lunch capital of the world.
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Perhaps one of the more noteworthy trends of our time is the occupation of buildings accompanied by the taking of hostages. The perpetrators of these deeds are generally motivated by political grievance, social injustice, and the deeply felt desire to see how they look on TV.
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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
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Telling someone he looks healthy isn't a compliment -- it's a second opinion.
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I woke up at five o'clock in the morning with the whole first paragraph in my head. Now, this just shows what a slothful person I am: I tried to go back to sleep.
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I'd like to decide who comes here. I'd like to be the admissions director of New York.
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I never had a typewriter. I never had any machines.
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I hate writing. I will do anything to avoid it. The only way I could write less was if I was dead.
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Think before you speak. Read before you think.
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The thing you love right away, don't do it, because that's the very thing that's going to be your addiction for the rest of your life.
Fran Lebowitz