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I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Anyone
Adulthood
Didn
Mets
Happens
Intelligence
Children
Reach
Never
Smart
Life
Wonder
Child
Literature

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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
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...I believed passionately that Communists were a race of horned men who divided their time equally between the burning of Nancy Drew books and the devising of a plan of nuclear attack that would land the largest and most lethal bomb squarely upon the third-grade class of Thomas Jefferson School in Morristown, New Jersey.
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There are certain relationships I think I'm great at: I'm the world's greatest daughter. I'm a great relative. I believe I'm a great friend.
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Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
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What I can't be is monogamous. That tends to upset people. I just don't like domestic life.
Fran Lebowitz
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I'm a horrible girlfriend. I always was. I'm great at the beginning, because I can be very romantic.
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I always liked people who are older. Of course, every year it gets harder to find them.
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I just write when fear overtakes me.
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Communism requires of its adherents that they arise early and participate in a strenuous round of calisthenics. To someone who wishes that cigarettes came already lit the thought of such exertion at an hour when decent people are just nodding off is thoroughly abhorrent.
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Once you go outside your natural audience, there are tons of people that don't like you.
Fran Lebowitz
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I hate all jobs. I've never had a job I liked.
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Forcing people into a situation where they're supposed to adore each other is probably bad. But letting people get on and off the 6 train without stabbing each other, that's good.
Fran Lebowitz
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I think one manifestation of integrity is holding a grudge. Saying no is a little different. Holding a grudge is the modern equivalent of having standards.
Fran Lebowitz
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I've never seen the Kardashians I'm not sure who they are. But I know a lot about them because it's impossible not to.
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People always say pop culture. As if we have some high culture to distinguish it from.
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Marriage entitles women to the protection of a strong man who will steady the stepladder while they paint the kitchen ceiling.
Fran Lebowitz
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Will power is not telling anybody you quit smoking.
Fran Lebowitz
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I have the exact opposite problem of every writer I've ever met: Every writer I've ever met writes things that are too long, and they have to edit them down.
Fran Lebowitz
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Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
Fran Lebowitz
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I'm such a slow writer I have no need for anything as fast as a word processor. I don't need anything so snappy. I write so slowly that I could write in my own blood without hurting myself.
Fran Lebowitz