Quote

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Life
Dinner
Eating
Wants
Food
Parenting
Parent
Culinary
Asks
Buying
Child
Humorous
Children
Cooking

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If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded as American culture, you would pretty much be left with Let's Make a Deal.
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I'd like to decide who comes here. I'd like to be the admissions director of New York.
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
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Generally speaking, the poorer person summers where he winters.
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The French probably invented the very notion of discretion. It's not that they feel that what you don't know won't hurt you they feel that what you don't know won't hurt them. To the French lying is simply talking.
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Think before you speak. Read before you think.
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I always make a big effort to make a distinction between what is actually worse or what is just worse about not being 21. Of course, it's much worse not to be 21. This is a given. But there are things that are worse.
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If there had been a job of being a reader, I would have taken that, because I love to read and I don't love to write. That would be blissful.
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When I saw a phone on a plane for the first time, I panicked ... I thought people were going to call me.
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Take away a man's actual sense of manhood - which is conventionally based on the ability to work, to earn money, to be self-sufficient, to provide for children - and you've got to give them something else. And they did.
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A salad is not a meal, it is a style.
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Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.
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Writers get exactly the right amount of fame: just enough to get a good table in a restaurant but not enough so that people are constantly interrupting you while you're eating dinner.
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Writing is so hard. Why would you be a writer if you weren't really good at it? If you could be anything else, why would you be a writer?
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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
Fran Lebowitz
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New York was always more expensive than the other places, even when it was going bankrupt. In other words, in 1971, New York was expensive for someone with no money. For anyone.
Fran Lebowitz
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I'm such a slow writer I have no need for anything as fast as a word processor. I don't need anything so snappy. I write so slowly that I could write in my own blood without hurting myself.
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The second I learned to read in first grade, when I was 5, I preferred it to life. And I still do.
Fran Lebowitz
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Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
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I am not... totally unreceptive to colour providing it makes its appearance quietly, deferentially, and without undue fanfare.
Fran Lebowitz