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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Food
Parenting
Parent
Culinary
Asks
Buying
Child
Humorous
Children
Cooking
Life
Dinner
Eating
Wants

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I always liked people who are older. Of course, every year it gets harder to find them.
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When I was very little, say five or six, I became aware of the fact that people wrote books. Before that, I thought that God wrote books. I thought a book was a manifestation of nature, like a tree.
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I doubt there's ever been a true thing said on Fox. Maybe the weather report, maybe not.
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No one earns $100 million. You steal $100 million.
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A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.
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Frenchman: Germans with good food.
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My favorite animal is steak.
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The first people who died of AIDS were artists. They were the most interesting people.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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The great thing about New Jersey is that it's close to New York.
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In Rome people spend most of their time having lunch. And they do it very well - Rome is unquestionably the lunch capital of the world.
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Whenever I am doing anything else, which is most of the time, even if it is not something like robbing a bank, I feel felonious. Writing is what I'm supposed to be doing.
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If you read a lot, nothing is as great as you've imagined. Venice is - Venice is better.
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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
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If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
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Take away a man's actual sense of manhood - which is conventionally based on the ability to work, to earn money, to be self-sufficient, to provide for children - and you've got to give them something else. And they did.
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Not writing is probably the most exhausting profession I've ever encountered. It takes it out of you. It's very psychically wearing not to write - I mean if you're supposed to be writing.
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I'm not a nervous person. I'm not afraid to be on TV. I'm only afraid when I write. When I'm at my desk I feel like most people would feel if they went on TV.
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People who are well-known, famous people, I think, make very poor characters for fiction. They make good characters for gossip columns. But not for fiction.
Fran Lebowitz