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Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Sleep
Happiness
Funny
Something
Life
Witty

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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I hate all jobs. I've never had a job I liked.
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Knowingness is sexy. The opposite of sexy is naivete.
Fran Lebowitz
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People who are well-known, famous people, I think, make very poor characters for fiction. They make good characters for gossip columns. But not for fiction.
Fran Lebowitz
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Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
Fran Lebowitz
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I had to go on TV with the president of the Catholic League, which is not an official organization at all, just a lot of Catholics, or maybe it's just this guy. He demanded to de-fund art completely and argued that taxpayers should not pay for it. I said people who represent the Catholic Church shouldn't talk about taxes.
Fran Lebowitz
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No one's supposed to be the president. This is not England. And it's not just the Bush family, all families designate each child as having some particular trait.
Fran Lebowitz
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[On not reading newspapers:] If something important happens, your mother calls you.
Fran Lebowitz
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Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
Fran Lebowitz
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I'd like to decide who comes here. I'd like to be the admissions director of New York.
Fran Lebowitz
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New York was always more expensive than any other place in the United States, but you could live in New York - and by New York, I mean Manhattan. Brooklyn was the borough of grandparents. We didn't live well. We lived in these horrible places. But you could live in New York. And you didn't have to think about money every second.
Fran Lebowitz
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Communism requires of its adherents that they arise early and participate in a strenuous round of calisthenics. To someone who wishes that cigarettes came already lit the thought of such exertion at an hour when decent people are just nodding off is thoroughly abhorrent.
Fran Lebowitz
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When Toni Morrison said 'write the book you want to read,' she didn't mean everybody.
Fran Lebowitz
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When it comes to sports I am not particularly interested. Generally speaking, I look upon them as dangerous and tiring activities performed by people with whom I share nothing except the right to trial by jury.
Fran Lebowitz
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Life was certainly more entertaining when people were indulging their vices as opposed to going to meetings to indulge in a new vice: discussing their innermost thoughts in public.
Fran Lebowitz
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Marriage entitles women to the protection of a strong man who will steady the stepladder while they paint the kitchen ceiling.
Fran Lebowitz
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
Fran Lebowitz
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The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
Fran Lebowitz
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If there were, say, only 10 percent of the hotels that exist now, there would be all these apartments for people who live in New York, as opposed to people visiting New York. And then all this junk in the theater, we would no longer need the kind of stuff that tourists like.
Fran Lebowitz
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If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
Fran Lebowitz
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When I saw a phone on a plane for the first time, I panicked ... I thought people were going to call me.
Fran Lebowitz