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I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.

Finley Peter Dunne

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Finley Peter Dunne
Age: 68 †
Born: 1867
Born: July 10
Died: 1936
Died: April 24
Author
Journalist
Screenwriter
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Contaminated
Contact
Knew
Wrong
Business
Men

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A rayformer thinks he was ilicted because he was a rayformer, whin th thruth iv th matther is he was ilicted because no wan knew him.
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A game you play with your own worst enemy-yourself.
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High finance isn't burglary or obtaining money by false pretenses, but rather a judicious selection from the best features of those fine arts.
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You can lade a man up to th' university, but ye can't make him think.
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When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.
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A man's idee in a card game is war
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I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read his prescription.
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No, sir, th' dimmycratic party ain't on speakin' terms with itsilf. Whin ye see two men with white neckties go into a sthreet car an' set in opposite corners while wan mutthers Thraiter an' th' other hisses Miscreent ye can bet they're two dimmycratic leaders thryin' to reunite th' gran' ol' party.
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When 'tis an aven thing in th' prayin', may th' best man win ... an' th' best man will win.
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It must be a good thing to be good or ivrybody wudden't be pretendin' he was.
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Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.
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Vice goes along way towards making life bearable. A little vice now and then is relished by the best of men.
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Viceis a creature of such heejous mienthat th' more ye see it th' betther ye like it.
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Opportunity knocks at every man's door once. On some men's door it hammers till it breaks down the door and then it goes in and wakes him up if he's asleep, and ever afterward it works for him as a night watchman.
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Don't jump on a man unless he is down.
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What's wan man's news is another man's throubles.
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It [Thanksgiving] was founded by the Puritans to give thanks for bein' preserved from the Indians, an' we keep it to give thanks we are preserved from the Puritans.
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If Christian scientists had more science and doctors more Christianity, it wouldn't make any difference which you called in - if you had a good nurse.
Finley Peter Dunne
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Drink never made a man better, but it has made many a man think he was better.
Finley Peter Dunne
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A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable
Finley Peter Dunne