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There's always wan encouragin' thing about th' sad scientific facts that come out ivrv week in th' pa-apers. They're usually not thrue.

Finley Peter Dunne

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Finley Peter Dunne
Age: 68 †
Born: 1867
Born: July 10
Died: 1936
Died: April 24
Author
Journalist
Screenwriter
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Come
Thing
Always
Scientific
Usually
Week
Science
Facts

More quotes by Finley Peter Dunne

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To most people a savage nation is wan that doesn't wear oncomf'rtable clothes.
Finley Peter Dunne
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I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read his prescription.
Finley Peter Dunne
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Meditation is a gift confined to unknown philosophers and cows. Others don't begin to think till they begin to talk or write.
Finley Peter Dunne
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A rayformer thinks he was ilicted because he was a rayformer, whin th thruth iv th matther is he was ilicted because no wan knew him.
Finley Peter Dunne
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Drink never made a man better, but it has made many a man think he was better.
Finley Peter Dunne
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Many a man that could rule a hundherd millyon sthrangers with an ir'n hand is careful to take off his shoes in the front hallway whin he comes home late at night.
Finley Peter Dunne
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A game you play with your own worst enemy-yourself.
Finley Peter Dunne
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Most vegetarians I ever see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannibals.
Finley Peter Dunne
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A man that'd expict to thrain lobsters to fly in a year is called a loonytic but a man that thinks men can be tur-rned into angels by an iliction is called a rayformer an' remains at large.
Finley Peter Dunne
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I care not who makes th' laws iv a nation, if I can get out an injunction.
Finley Peter Dunne
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Histhry is a post-mortem examination. It tellsye what a counthry died iv. But I'd like to know what it lived iv.
Finley Peter Dunne
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Work is work if you're paid to do it, and it's a pleasure if you pay to be allowed to do it.
Finley Peter Dunne
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A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.
Finley Peter Dunne
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No, sir, th' dimmycratic party ain't on speakin' terms with itsilf. Whin ye see two men with white neckties go into a sthreet car an' set in opposite corners while wan mutthers Thraiter an' th' other hisses Miscreent ye can bet they're two dimmycratic leaders thryin' to reunite th' gran' ol' party.
Finley Peter Dunne
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That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.
Finley Peter Dunne
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The past always looks better than it was it's only pleasant because it isn't here.
Finley Peter Dunne
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Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.
Finley Peter Dunne
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When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.
Finley Peter Dunne
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Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it
Finley Peter Dunne
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Opportunity knocks at every man's door once. On some men's door it hammers till it breaks down the door and then it goes in and wakes him up if he's asleep, and ever afterward it works for him as a night watchman.
Finley Peter Dunne