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When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.
Finley Peter Dunne
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Finley Peter Dunne
Age: 68 †
Born: 1867
Born: July 10
Died: 1936
Died: April 24
Author
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Chicago
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American
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English
Musical
Comedy
More quotes by Finley Peter Dunne
Many a man that could rule a hundherd millyon sthrangers with an ir'n hand is careful to take off his shoes in the front hallway whin he comes home late at night.
Finley Peter Dunne
If a man is wise, he gets rich an' if he gets rich, he gets foolish, or his wife does. That's what keeps the money movin' around.
Finley Peter Dunne
Vice goes along way towards making life bearable. A little vice now and then is relished by the best of men.
Finley Peter Dunne
What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.
Finley Peter Dunne
Freedom is like drink. If you take any at all, you might as well take enough to make you happy for a while.
Finley Peter Dunne
Drink never made a man better, but it has made many a man think he was better.
Finley Peter Dunne
To most people a savage nation is wan that doesn't wear oncomf'rtable clothes.
Finley Peter Dunne
If ye live enough befure thirty ye won't care to live at all afther fifty.
Finley Peter Dunne
A rayformer thinks he was ilicted because he was a rayformer, whin th thruth iv th matther is he was ilicted because no wan knew him.
Finley Peter Dunne
It [Thanksgiving] was founded by the Puritans to give thanks for bein' preserved from the Indians, an' we keep it to give thanks we are preserved from the Puritans.
Finley Peter Dunne
What's wan man's news is another man's throubles.
Finley Peter Dunne
Work is work if you're paid to do it, and it's a pleasure if you pay to be allowed to do it.
Finley Peter Dunne
High finance isn't burglary or obtaining money by false pretenses, but rather a judicious selection from the best features of those fine arts.
Finley Peter Dunne
Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it
Finley Peter Dunne
There's always wan encouragin' thing about th' sad scientific facts that come out ivrv week in th' pa-apers. They're usually not thrue.
Finley Peter Dunne
Opportunity knocks at every man's door once. On some men's door it hammers till it breaks down the door and then it goes in and wakes him up if he's asleep, and ever afterward it works for him as a night watchman.
Finley Peter Dunne
I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.
Finley Peter Dunne
The wise people are in New York because the foolish went there first, that's the way the wise men make a living.
Finley Peter Dunne
Most vegetarians I ever see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannibals.
Finley Peter Dunne
Th' first thing to have in a libry is a shelf. Fr'm time to time this can be decorated with lithrachure. But th' shelf is th' main thing.
Finley Peter Dunne
