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A man that'd expict to thrain lobsters to fly in a year is called a loonytic but a man that thinks men can be tur-rned into angels by an iliction is called a rayformer an' remains at large.
Finley Peter Dunne
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Finley Peter Dunne
Age: 68 †
Born: 1867
Born: July 10
Died: 1936
Died: April 24
Author
Journalist
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Chicago
Illinois
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Lobsters
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More quotes by Finley Peter Dunne
It must be a good thing to be good or ivrybody wudden't be pretendin' he was.
Finley Peter Dunne
When 'tis an aven thing in th' prayin', may th' best man win ... an' th' best man will win.
Finley Peter Dunne
Meditation is a gift confined to unknown philosophers and cows. Others don't begin to think till they begin to talk or write.
Finley Peter Dunne
An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.
Finley Peter Dunne
That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.
Finley Peter Dunne
It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.
Finley Peter Dunne
High finance isn't burglary or obtaining money by false pretenses, but rather a judicious selection from the best features of those fine arts.
Finley Peter Dunne
Opportunity knocks at every man's door once. On some men's door it hammers till it breaks down the door and then it goes in and wakes him up if he's asleep, and ever afterward it works for him as a night watchman.
Finley Peter Dunne
Drink never made a man better, but it has made many a man think he was better.
Finley Peter Dunne
There's always wan encouragin' thing about th' sad scientific facts that come out ivrv week in th' pa-apers. They're usually not thrue.
Finley Peter Dunne
The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.
Finley Peter Dunne
Th' first thing to have in a libry is a shelf. Fr'm time to time this can be decorated with lithrachure. But th' shelf is th' main thing.
Finley Peter Dunne
Most vegetarians I ever see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannibals.
Finley Peter Dunne
Viceis a creature of such heejous mienthat th' more ye see it th' betther ye like it.
Finley Peter Dunne
I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read his prescription.
Finley Peter Dunne
A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable
Finley Peter Dunne
To most people a savage nation is wan that doesn't wear oncomf'rtable clothes.
Finley Peter Dunne
No, sir, th' dimmycratic party ain't on speakin' terms with itsilf. Whin ye see two men with white neckties go into a sthreet car an' set in opposite corners while wan mutthers Thraiter an' th' other hisses Miscreent ye can bet they're two dimmycratic leaders thryin' to reunite th' gran' ol' party.
Finley Peter Dunne
What's wan man's news is another man's throubles.
Finley Peter Dunne
I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.
Finley Peter Dunne