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If Christian scientists had more science and doctors more Christianity, it wouldn't make any difference which you called in - if you had a good nurse.
Finley Peter Dunne
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Finley Peter Dunne
Age: 68 †
Born: 1867
Born: July 10
Died: 1936
Died: April 24
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More quotes by Finley Peter Dunne
Don't jump on a man unless he is down.
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When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.
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What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.
Finley Peter Dunne
Work is work if you're paid to do it, and it's a pleasure if you pay to be allowed to do it.
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The past always looks better than it was it's only pleasant because it isn't here.
Finley Peter Dunne
A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.
Finley Peter Dunne
A man that'd expict to thrain lobsters to fly in a year is called a loonytic but a man that thinks men can be tur-rned into angels by an iliction is called a rayformer an' remains at large.
Finley Peter Dunne
It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.
Finley Peter Dunne
A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable
Finley Peter Dunne
High finance isn't burglary or obtaining money by false pretenses, but rather a judicious selection from the best features of those fine arts.
Finley Peter Dunne
Most vegetarians I ever see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannibals.
Finley Peter Dunne
That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.
Finley Peter Dunne
I care not who makes th' laws iv a nation, if I can get out an injunction.
Finley Peter Dunne
It [Thanksgiving] was founded by the Puritans to give thanks for bein' preserved from the Indians, an' we keep it to give thanks we are preserved from the Puritans.
Finley Peter Dunne
Opportunity knocks at every man's door once. On some men's door it hammers till it breaks down the door and then it goes in and wakes him up if he's asleep, and ever afterward it works for him as a night watchman.
Finley Peter Dunne
When 'tis an aven thing in th' prayin', may th' best man win ... an' th' best man will win.
Finley Peter Dunne
No, sir, th' dimmycratic party ain't on speakin' terms with itsilf. Whin ye see two men with white neckties go into a sthreet car an' set in opposite corners while wan mutthers Thraiter an' th' other hisses Miscreent ye can bet they're two dimmycratic leaders thryin' to reunite th' gran' ol' party.
Finley Peter Dunne
Freedom is like drink. If you take any at all, you might as well take enough to make you happy for a while.
Finley Peter Dunne
A game you play with your own worst enemy-yourself.
Finley Peter Dunne
It must be a good thing to be good or ivrybody wudden't be pretendin' he was.
Finley Peter Dunne