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If Christian scientists had more science and doctors more Christianity, it wouldn't make any difference which you called in - if you had a good nurse.
Finley Peter Dunne
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Finley Peter Dunne
Age: 68 †
Born: 1867
Born: July 10
Died: 1936
Died: April 24
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Chicago
Illinois
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Christianity
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A man's idee in a card game is war
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Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.
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If a man is wise, he gets rich an' if he gets rich, he gets foolish, or his wife does. That's what keeps the money movin' around.
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The past always looks better than it was it's only pleasant because it isn't here.
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To most people a savage nation is wan that doesn't wear oncomf'rtable clothes.
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A game you play with your own worst enemy-yourself.
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Opportunity knocks at every man's door once. On some men's door it hammers till it breaks down the door and then it goes in and wakes him up if he's asleep, and ever afterward it works for him as a night watchman.
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Drink never made a man better, but it has made many a man think he was better.
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When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.
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You can lade a man up to th' university, but ye can't make him think.
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That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.
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Many a man that could rule a hundherd millyon sthrangers with an ir'n hand is careful to take off his shoes in the front hallway whin he comes home late at night.
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Don't jump on a man unless he is down.
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A man that'd expict to thrain lobsters to fly in a year is called a loonytic but a man that thinks men can be tur-rned into angels by an iliction is called a rayformer an' remains at large.
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Viceis a creature of such heejous mienthat th' more ye see it th' betther ye like it.
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A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable
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When 'tis an aven thing in th' prayin', may th' best man win ... an' th' best man will win.
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There's always wan encouragin' thing about th' sad scientific facts that come out ivrv week in th' pa-apers. They're usually not thrue.
Finley Peter Dunne
A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.
Finley Peter Dunne
High finance isn't burglary or obtaining money by false pretenses, but rather a judicious selection from the best features of those fine arts.
Finley Peter Dunne